Anger helps us express preferences or things we disagree with. Yes, it is associated with negativity and bad emotions, but it is certainly necessary. This way anger doesn’t get out of hand and ultimately affect our well-being, The ideal is to do correct emotional management. What should we do? Experts give us the keys to controlling our anger with confidence.
importance of anger
What causes anger to get the better of us and turn into rage and out-of-control mood swings? Anger management and Enneagram expert Sonia Díaz Rois explained to Semana: “Anger allows others to understand us and helps set limits. What happens is that there is a very fine line from anger to rage and sometimes we can easily jump over it and create a hurricane. What we need most today is to promote good dialogue, to listen to each other, to understand each other, to reach agreements, and to stop arguing over the polarization that generates so much anger. “
The Stoics talked about the Stoic pause, taking time to react to stimuli in order to be able to analyze and react in a more rational way, which brings happiness, peace, and brings us closer to happiness. Do you usually tend to respond without pausing? Under what circumstances does anger appear? “Anger can be stirred up in certain situations, such as when we defend our position, when we think something is unfair, or when we are slighted or disrespected. A calm, peaceful inner dialogue can Anger allows us to recognize and validate our own thoughts and calmly express things we disagree with or think are wrong. But the reality is Since we connect with anger first, we don’t usually get angry because we are calm and peaceful.”, experts emphasized.
angry mission
If we’ve learned anything, it’s that anger is an emotion as valid and necessary as happiness. Is it an essential tool for communication? Experts clarify: “Anger is an emotion that encourages us to share our thoughts and feelings in order to feel respected. Also be aware of other people’s feelings and thoughts and always be respectful.”
What dangers do we face when we get angry? “Anger doesn’t want us to be constantly associated with anger, the person doesn’t want to listen to us and runs away, and our anger remains inside us without being noticed or understood. So if what we seek is to communicate from anger, then the best way to express anger is to accompany it with empathy and confidence. That is, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and remember ‘it’s not your problem, it’s my problem’,” says Díaz Rois.
What are the consequences of being “seriously” angry?
have Many People Don’t Have the Necessary Tools to Address Anger Issues in Healthy Ways and conscious. What happens to these people’s lives when this happens? “People who don’t know how to control their anger feel terrible when they realize they can’t control it and it happens to them over and over again, which greatly damages their self-esteem. Generally speaking “Relationships are greatly affected because we get the exact opposite: they run away and reject us instead of approaching us and wanting to talk to us.”
To heal this emotional process, Emotions must be validated, so understanding and dialogue between those involved is crucial. This allows for adequate and healthy management of emotions. “Anger needs to be heard. We feel so desperate when we can’t get them to listen to us and they don’t consider us. The fact that we try over and over again and don’t know how to do it any other way It can make us feel so depressed that we may end up in grief,” Sonya said.
Anger Control Techniques
anger Need attention and be heard That’s why you have to work hard to manage it properly.these are some of them tip Tips from experts on anger management and the Enneagram for healthy anger management:
1. From your own perspective: Start sentences with “I…” rather than “You…”. It’s better to start the conversation by speaking up yourself and conveying the request or need rather than starting the conversation by pointing fingers or outright expressing complaints.
2. Express your feelings: “I feel sad, I feel angry, disappointed…” so that the other person understands your emotions and feelings.
3. Propose solutions: Avoiding getting caught up in complaining and choosing to look for alternatives can improve the behavior or situation and benefit both parties.
4. listen What does the other person want to tell you? Consider and value their perspectives.
5. Identify and share The benefits that the proposed changes will bring. Recognize what will change if it happens as you propose, and emphasize the benefits to both parties.
6. Use appropriate words. Do your best to make your language friendly and respectful.
7. Take care of your nonverbal communication. Avoid excessive gesturing and do everything possible to make your expression appear calm and calm.
8. Make sure this is a good time to communicate. If it’s unclear, avoid communicating in writing or online. If it’s something important, it’s best to do it in person for as long as possible.
9. Establish specific prevention moments. For example, spend a little time each week discussing a potentially sensitive topic.
10. Add love and humor to the conversation You’ll see how your perspective changes little by little.