Tom Brady has never won three Super Bowls in a row.
LeBron James? Zero three consecutive championships.
Do you know how many times Tiger and Jack won the Masters three times in a row?
there is nothing. no way.
So, is my daughter the Michael Jordan of March Madness? In this house, absolutely.
Follow the madness: NCAA tournament brackets, scores, schedules, teams and more.
Welcome back to the annual spring rite of passage where my 12-year-old Maleah (checks the calendar…squints and checks again) kicked my ass while filling out the NCAA tournament brackets, even though as far as I know, he never has Participated in the NCAA tournament. Attended a college basketball game.
Signature and dance:Inside the Stetson Hatters’ first NCAA Tournament selection show
In the three years since her reign of terror began, I’ve watched her go from watching Peppa Pig to reading The Hunger Games. From Barbie to Jack of All Trades.
Welcome to Teenagers.
Over the years, her dominance has cost me a sushi dinner, a new pair of shoes, and an Apple Pencil. This year she asked for a nail salon visit.
But what’s really at stake here? The entire presidential term is a basketball game. Life is lost from leap year to leap year. Hardwood humiliation throughout the Summer Olympics cycle.
However, as the Good Book says, “Wisdom belongs to those who are humble and modest.” Some people are feeling themselves these days.
“Do you want to know my secret?” she asked, eyebrows arched and a confident smile on her face.
You bet I will, baby girl.
If by some miracle I break the rope, I decide to hit back where it hurts. You know those old photos and home movies of your kids? The ones you always threaten to show to future boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives?
Well, I did it on the condition that I win so I can send the most embarrassing clips from her mom’s phone to her friend group. Don’t worry, Ron, she doesn’t have a Snapchat or a TikTok yet!
She immediately took a step back, hastily hiding her horrified “how dare you” expression, and regained her confidence.
“trade!”
Next came the scratching sound of a pen, narrowed eyes, and a bulging forehead vein. Oh, she started too.
Here are our picks, starting with double-digit seed upsets in the first round.
If you’ve followed this journey at all, you’ll know that this kid has an uncanny ability to live inside my head, predict some of the same annoyances I do (usually in a good way), and make them happen the next Weekends were ruled out long before I ever arrived.
Here we go again. Mind you, we all picked Drake, Charleston, New Mexico, Nevada, and Oregon, but she didn’t go too far.
I? I’m all for Goldie Hawn, including the Dead West area that I can’t explain or defend.
By the way, what’s her big secret?
“The way I choose teams is basically to look at what all their mascots are and who has the prettiest color, and I usually choose the one whose mascot is a kitten.”
By her measure, however, both the Auburn Tigers and Clemson Tigers went home in the first round.
This is the kind of psychological warfare she is capable of.
Had to get it from her mother.
I was kidding, Kelsey!
So, she likes cats after all. At least those who wear purple and live near Chicago do.
Fireworks erupted early on when Maleh knocked off top-seeded and defending champion UConn. A group in Deland wished they had pulled the trigger sooner.
This gives me hope. But at the same time, if it succeeds, this thing is over. It comes from the same kid who correctly selected Abilene Christian to beat Texas in the first elimination game of 2021.
Northwestern’s Sweet 16 matchup with Yale is sure to be exciting, but if last year was any indication, nothing is impossible.
As for why she’s so optimistic about the Ivy League’s proud Bulldogs?
“Because I like dogs. And cats.”
Apparently you can do both. At least when you’re 12 and cute.
We also all hope that College of Charleston can make it to the Sweet 16. Not sure if she mistakenly believed the Cougars were from our hometown of Charleston, West Virginia, but I’m not going to set the record straight. After all, she can use an iPhone better than I can, and Google is free!
Unfortunately, nails are not.
I certainly hope Peter Salovey sees this. Remember, college enrollment time is here.
Maleah rode the Yale all the way into the Elite 8, which felt more chalky to me than the Rolaids wrapper. Might as well use it to track my body on the sidewalk.
I mean, it wasn’t enough that she won, but her stand was much cooler than mine.
To recap, she led the Northwestern Wildcats to a round-of-32 victory over the UConn Huskies.
“Because they’re cats.”
But then the Wildcats lost to Yale and it was a different breed of dog.
“Yeah,” she smiled without further explanation. Okay then.
As for love at Yale?
“Yale is really good, but Northwestern is also good…I want to pick a team that maybe no one thinks is going to win, maybe,” she continued. “So, I thought if I chose (Yale), maybe they would have a better chance.”
Finally, on her choice in Texas:
“I have a friend from Texas.”
Her classroom is also full of people from Florida State, but that doesn’t help the Gators.
If you can find this pattern anywhere please send help.
Maleah’s three seeds in the Final Four. It’s easy to guess her lucky number, right?
“12.”
Makes sense.
Somehow, we’ve come to the same conclusion on the entire right side of the bracket, with Kentucky and Purdue standing out. After my early chaos and late status quo breakdown, I had no room there for a late rebound.
What she really needs is Illinois, which oh, by the way, just won the Big Ten title, to play well. Meanwhile, the Arizona team I’m relying on has lost to double-digit seeds in three of its past four March Madness games.
How did this happen?
how?
That’s right, Ryan, double up on the Wildcats and then pair them with the second No. 1 seed they lost to in the Sweet 16 last year. hard.
Which manicure is cheaper…I mean better? Gel or acrylic?
All this cat talk. All this digital symmetry.
Finally, Maleh had the Baylor Bears cut the net because of — get this — voice.
“Baylor was really good, a No. 3 seed, and Kentucky was a No. 3 seed, but I picked the ‘B,'” she explained. “Baylor. Because I really like the letter ‘B’. Sounds good.”
Letter “B”. Basketball Aces, Brackets, Defeat and Biden.
At this rate, Joe and this streak could last another four years.
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