Each week, a rotating panel of some of the brightest football minds on The Messenger will answer the most pressing questions on every NFL Sunday…
For an entire week, we, as a football watching nation, have been bombarded with the “last time the Patriots were 0-2…” factoid. But how do you feel in your heart about the current state of the New England Patriots as they look to target Zach Wilson?
Mike Tanier: I was going to compare the Patriots to the fall of the Roman Empire. Then I searched the internet for “Roman Empire” and realized… Personally, I may be a social problem.
Either way, the decline and fall of the Patriots is about the only thing Jets fans care about right now. Let’s not deprive them of joy. (Also, the Patriots will win by two touchdowns on Sunday.)
Daniela Perez: Now I know how often Mike thinks about the Roman Empire.
Kalen Jones: Patriots are white walkers from Game of Thrones and Bill Belichick – The Night King. They are no longer a dynasty and may be 0-2, but I’m not. fully counting them until they disappear forever.
Gary Gramling: I constantly make fun of people who insist, “Coach X has a plan” every time coach . Bill O’Brien is doing a decent job as a player, but from a roster standpoint they lack the dynamic weapons you need if you don’t have a dynamic guard, and apparently much of the Northeast is already looking for a new offense. line coach Adrian Klemm left town (can Dante Scarnecchia continue to enjoy his retirement but just coach a couple hours on Zoom every week?). The defense is still good (10 wins and a playoff berth), but at best it will be a 19-14 winning season, likely starting at East Rutherford on Sunday.
Scenario: You’re a part-time but loyal junior copywriter at a struggling ad agency with only one major client left: Progressive Insurance. Someone older than you—not the VP, but, say, a nice middle manager with whom you can be honest— trumpets during your weekly brainstorming session: “Hey, Baker Mayfield and the Bucs are 2-0, let’s dig up some of these old ones The movie ‘At Home with Baker’ shows CGI images of a pirate ship at Raymond James Stadium, save some money and freeze the Flo commercial!” Are you offering tacit approval, thereby betting your firm’s short-term future on supporting Baker Mayfield’s Bucs against the Eagles on Monday night, or are you passionately advocating for staying the course with more Flo, fueled by Stephanie Courtney? ? chaos awaiting the collapse of Baker & Bucks? (Or something different?)
Gramling: The Bucs aren’t going to win the Super Bowl, but they are better than the Browns team that won a playoff game with Baker under center. And although Baker is no better than Tom Brady (pause to react to this scorching take)Early signs are that first-year offensive coordinator Dave Canales has made significant progress on the coaching side. Stephanie Courtney remains a national treasure (I especially love her work – voice and live action – on the cult Adult Swim show). Tom goes to the mayor), but I smile and nod politely at the idea of bringing “At Home With Baker” back into the game as he re-establishes himself as a top-20 NFL quarterback for the 2023 NFC South champions. And I think the Bucs will be a handful for the Eagles on Monday night, but part of that is because I still have too much faith in Todd Bowles taking Jalen Hurts’ soul in the playoffs two years ago.
Jones: I love how this prompt combines my only connections to American icon Stephanie Courtney: Mad Men and Flo.
Miss Courtney has been playing Flo since 2008! She wasn’t replaced by a new actor like “Jake from State Farm.” She doesn’t need a weird ostrich sidekick like Doug from Liberty Mutual. Jamie might as well be the Gronk to Brady Flo. It would be a mistake to abandon the GOAT. (Although Baker is the best acting QB. Mahomes and Josh Allen are as bad as Steph Curry.)
Tanye: Can you even get homeowner’s insurance in Tampa? Doesn’t matter. The Buccaneers faced two defenses thanks to the combined talents of the Eagles’ bench. His stats are good. He is not.
Does the fact that the Steelers and Raiders are a classic rivalry make you nostalgic to the point that it’s a worthy game? Sunday Night Football or are we just being force-fed by two teams from the NFL’s “Goulash of Mediocrity” (19th and 27th in the rankings The Messenger’s latest NFL power rankings poll) This week?
Perez: There is literally nothing I would rather watch less of (with the possible exception of the Cardinals-Bears). ON CHRISTMAS EVE).
Tanye: I am old. I’m like a 2000 year old man. Or at least old enough to mention the “2000-year-old man.” But I’m not old enough to remember the Raiders-Steelers playoff rivalry. They should play this game on Me-TV.
Gramling: I think this venue ruins any nostalgia: last year’s match, played in the cold and snow in Pittsburgh, felt like… something. Things will be different this year in The House That Gruden Built. (Also, Mike Tanier and I have only been working together for about eight weeks or so, and I’m pretty sure we’re about the same age. However, every now and then he makes a reference that makes me feel like Dale Cooper at the end Twin Peaks reboot.)
Jones: I’ll shamelessly admit that I’m tickled by nostalgia for Rich Gannon’s TD pass to Doug Gabriel in 2004, which convinced me the Raiders were going to be good. “Good times! (Not really!)
There are two double-digit underdogs this week in the Bears (at Kansas City) and the Cardinals (at home against the Cowboys). According to the terms and conditions of this survey, you are now forced to choose one of them to win outright. Who are you going with and why?
Jones: Could Luke Getsy and Justin Fields be more closely related than their awkward practice hug suggests?
Gramling: I could see the Bears simply abandoning the whole premise of a run offense and letting Justin Fields run in circles throughout the day, in which case he would inevitably break two long runs and the Bears might be able to squeeze 20 points out of the day. Offensively, the Chiefs are currently in the same shape they were in a couple of years ago when Tyreek Hill threw a couple of passes into the hands of defenders and so everyone said the Chiefs were done for good and Andy Reid should hand the offense over to Chad Henna, otherwise he will be fired. for negligence. Maybe this will last another week?
Tanye: The Bear Chiefs target Justin Fields. I don’t like watching it, but I feel the need for finality and closure.
Additionally, here are the props that are available at one of the leading bookmakers: “Biggest margin of victory on Sunday”, “Over/Under 26.5 at -110”. Play it again and the afternoon squabbles will become much more interesting.
Now that we’ve had a week to digest it, how do you feel about Chris Stapleton, Cindy Blackman and Snoop Dogg? cover of Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight”“ like New Monday night football hymn?
Jones: This is much better than Aloe Blacc’s cover of “All Night Long”. But what’s the point of covering old songs when ESPN can easily bring back/remix Hank Williams Jr. songs? MNF subject? “Ready for football?!” in my brain’s catalog of obsessive thoughts has unfortunately been replaced by “I’ve been waiting all day for Sunday evening.”
Gramling: Andrew W.K. spent two decades waiting by the phone MNF call! Regarding the anthem MNF stopped at…
They’re all very talented musicians, even though poor Snoop’s lyrics were created by ChatGPT from the prompt “write a rap verse about football suitable for use in a pizza bagel commercial.” It’s just an incredibly weird song choice. I know Phil Collins always said it wasn’t about anything in particular, that he wrote the lyrics off the top of his head, but we can all admit that it’s heavy, dark and not exactly the right tone for a pre-game buildup. song for pumping. It’s not really Conservative politician criticizes ‘Born in the USA’ phrase at campaign rallybut it feels like ESPN execs may have just been flipping through the lyrics of popular 1980s songs on Genius, looking for something that might loosely fit: “How about Adam Levine and Flavor Flav’s cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” “It’s a song about a fast car.” car, football fans love fast cars!”
Tanye: If they want to play music that Collins was on, they should play Genesis’ “Supper’s Ready” in its entirety. The game can start at 23:30.