Larsa Pippen confirms she’s dating Michael Jordan’s gym bag

MIAMI — Reality TV personality Larsa Pippen released a statement Monday addressing rumors that her lover is close to ex-husband Scottie Pippen’s former NBA teammate, confirming she is dating Michael Jordan’s gym bag . “It’s true, I’m currently in a serious, committed relationship with Michael Jordan’s gym bag and I couldn’t be happier,” said the 49-year-old, who is nearly 16 years older than the Nike duffel bag. And insists she never interacted with it when she was married to Scottie Pippen, despite insiders providing photographic evidence to the contrary. “Everyone needs to stop making a fuss about this. It’s not like I was dating Scotty’s current friend’s gym bag. We met through a mutual acquaintance who was apart of the Bulls long after the divorce, and the rest is history . It’s not surprising at all. We have the same interests, like basketball and fetching things, and we’re very in sync on an intellectual level. Michael wasn’t too happy about this, saying he needed the bag for shoes and stuff, but we couldn’t do it for Pleasing others and denying our once-in-a-lifetime connection.” As of press time, Larsa Pippen hinted at a proposal in her gym bag, saying she discovered a ring box hidden inside.