Rolling Stones album presentation with Sydney Sweeney and Jimmy Fallon

Mick Jagger turned 80 in July. Keith Richards gave his congratulations in the old tradition: his social media team posted a video on Instagram so he could ask his old dork – no, really, he enough the old one is “call me and tell me what it is.” This presumably life in the ninth decade. Jagger’s response, if indeed he was received, is not recorded, but Richards is only 79 years old, so he will only have to wait until December 18 to find out for himself.

Six weeks after Sir Mick’s birthday, on an exciting Indian summer day in the capital, the two surviving members of the original Rolling Stones took to the stage at the Hackney Empire in east London. I won’t say that they moved on, but there was some pomposity and even shaking from you know who. The Hackney Empire opened in 1901, the year Queen Victoria died, making her 42 years older than Mick. Like him, he has an amazingly good nickname.

Mick and Keith, the duo once known as the Glimmer Twins, were accompanied by their inexperienced bandmate Ronnie Wood, who joined the group relatively late, having joined as recently as 1975, although he only became a partner in 1993, which it’s practically yesterday in the Stone years. (Ronnie is in many ways the junior partner, as you’d expect from a man who’s only 76 years old.)

The occasion was a “press conference” (unusual in that no questions were allowed to be asked of the press) at which the release of a new studio album by Hackney Diamonds, their 24th album, was announced.^thwe were remembered for the first time in 18 years, since 2005’s A Bigger Bang. Over six decades, the Stones sold 250 million albums. They are one of the most popular acts in the history of music and, in the words of their opening coach, “a true rock and roll band.” The indiscriminate use of the word “iconic” this time was not entirely unfounded.

The invitations were sent out via email a few weeks ago. Few details were offered other than the assurance that this would be a “once in a lifetime event,” but when their satanic majesties demand your presence, you shouldn’t ask too many questions. They also offered to send a car. And while it was indeed hot outside, and I’ll admit, I did a little hemming and hawing that morning and staring in horror at my favorite weather app, when it came time to leave Esquire’s air-conditioned office for about an hour of travel around the city, I thought, Damn it, baby, it’s the Rolling Stones: how many more chances will there be to see them in the flesh again?

(I remember thinking exactly this in 2003, when Mick, a wet 60-year-old guy, was just coming into his life, and I, exactly half my age at the time, was sent to Munich, of all places, to witness the premiere their greatest hits tour, the Licks, celebrating a fleeting 40 years of making hits. I remember thinking about this back in 1990, when I was 17, watching them from the crowd at Wembley Stadium on their urban jungle tour. They seemed ancient me then. It was inconceivable that they could continue this long. And I’m sure there are many others, even older than me – perhaps almost as old as Mick and Keith – who remember thinking the same thing in 1972, when they were ten years old and I wasn’t even born yet . )

I arrived 40 minutes before the show started to find a crowd gathered on Mare Street, not far from the Empire. TV cameras, hulking security officers, autograph hunters in faded Stones T-shirts, confused passers-by, children craning their necks to figure out what’s going on. “Of course I’ve damn heard of them!” – one girl said to her friend, offended by this proposal, as they took refuge in the shadow of a bus stop.

Inside, almost all the seats were already occupied, and the thermostat was rising. Bottles of water were distributed. I was delighted to sit next to a Guardian reporter who had brought a fan with her. At least I could enjoy the minor breeze.

The empty stage was upholstered like a cupcake in red velvet: red curtains, red chairs, a red carpet on which three chandeliers rested, as if they had recently fallen to the floor. The Stones’ famous “lips” logo was adapted to look like it was made of broken glass.

After some instructions from the venue manager, our host arrived at exactly 2:30 p.m.: Jimmy Fallon, the American talk show host, a tall man in a too-tight suit and skinny tie, full of nervous energy and cue cards. “We live all over the world!” he marveled at YouTube viewers—as if it were the 1960s and the idea of ​​satellite communications was as fresh as a groupie-in-training.

The Stones were dressed in black, in contrast to Ronnie’s pale appearance. The slightly younger man’s jacket was almost as sharp as his cheekbones; Cadaverous is a cliché, but few of us, even on our deathbeds, will be as skinny as Ron. Keith left his hat and sunglasses in place, maintaining an unflappable sense of the absurd. Mick, as always the most “present” in the group, wore a satin shirt under a paisley bomber jacket. The question arises whether people in history have ever been like these three. They had been in suits for so long that they had become wire hangers.

Starting with a pattern of hopeful appeals and confusing answers, Fallon began by asking how we ended up here in Hackney. He never received an answer to this question. General gist: since the album is called Hackney Diamonds, obviously. And why was this? This was also unclear at first. Upon further questioning, Mick in a roundabout way revealed that the Hackney Diamonds were shards of glass left behind after a burglar broke your car window. Why is this an appropriate name? Well, Keith explained, it was originally going to be called Smash & Grab.

Fallon seems to have fallen into the trap of imagining that the Rolling Stones are here to explain rather than entertain. Trying to find a logical explanation for what they do is a fool’s errand. The Stones never played the Hackney Empire and appear to have had no connection with it or the area in which it is located. So what? It could have been Hackney or any other place. The rock ‘n’ roll circus sets up its tents wherever it pleases. Authenticity be damned. This is show business. Next question.

Not that we learned anything. We’re told that recording began in Jamaica and completed in New York and Los Angeles. That it was done quickly, on time. What is “eclecticism”. It includes eleven new tracks and twelve more in development.

“I don’t mean to be arrogant,” Mick said (as if!), “but we’re pretty happy with it.”

We also learned that Lady Gaga will be appearing in Hackney Diamonds. They forgot to tell us that Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder and Elton John were also guests. They mentioned Bill Wyman, 86. Surprisingly, we heard that Ronnie had played a bit with Van Morrison, who had recently recorded a skiffle album. (This was news to Mick, who seemed amused by this.)Skiffle? he chuckled.) The biggest revelation of the day was when we learned that Keith had quit smoking. Is the best joke the only joke? was Mick’s message about the release of the first Stones album in 1962. He and Keith took two reporters to a pub on Denmark Street, the tin pan alley in Soho, bought them pints and disappeared. That’s all.

Keith was asked, somewhat unnecessarily I thought, if he missed Charlie Watts, who died in 2021. (Charlie appears on two tracks on Hackney Diamonds.) He admitted it, of course they all did. “He’s there,” Keith said, vaguely pointing to the mezzanine where I was sitting. Several heads turned in that direction, as if the ghost of a dapper drummer could be seen in the gods. This is wrong.

Apparently having solicited questions from the band’s adoring audience in advance, Fallon asked Mick, on behalf of someone named Lou, if he had a favorite Stones song? Having come to terms with the mistake, Mick said he didn’t have a favorite Stones song. (Perhaps they could rehearse this a little?) Much to the relief of everyone, especially Fallon, Keith said he had a favorite Stones song. There are actually two: “Give Me Shelter” and “Jumping Jack Flash.” Well, they are his favorite games anyway. We didn’t get to Ron’s favorites. We may never know now.

By the way, Fallon wondered if the Stones ever play darts? (I think this was his own question, not a crowdsourced one.) To no one’s surprise, the Stones don’t play darts.

Fallon is back as Mick, which is pretty good. However, after about 10 minutes I was wondering how he was going to stretch this out to the planned half hour. Perhaps Fallon felt the same way, because in what seemed to me a somewhat minor move for such a high-profile interviewer, he began reading out the title of each song on the album, asking the band to comment, which they did, right down to the point .

The day after the press conference, Rolling Stone, the respected American magazine named after the band, published an article alleging that Fallon presided over a “toxic work environment” at NBC’s The Tonight Show. He was subsequently reported to have apologized to his staff during a Zoom call. I wondered if he knew this story was about to break, which might explain his slightly distracted appearance? Or maybe he’s just jetlagged after flying from New York? Or maybe he’s always like this? I admit, I’m not a Tonight Show viewer.

Either way, when it came time to wrap up the interview, Fallon looked like a weight had been lifted from her. “There’s no other band like you,” he enthused. “That’s the thing,” Keith drew.

The Stones waved goodbye, hugged Fallon and left.

Now Fallon took a seat in the front row, next to Sydney Sweeney, the movie star. Euphoria, an HBO sexploitation show. From this position he interviewed her and, inexplicably, her mother, who was sitting behind them. We in the room could only see the backs of their heads, but be that as it may, we were soon to see much more of Sweeney. Unfortunately, we never found out what her favorite Stones song is. Neither her mother.

The reason for the actress’s presence: she is the lead singer in the promo for Hackney Diamonds’ first single “Angry”. We all watched this together on the big screen. The video consists of Sweeney driving a vintage red Mercedes convertible down the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, writhing ecstatically (euphorically?) in a leather bustier while the billboards she passes come to life, archival CGI footage of the band Stones. so it looks like the new song is being sung by their old, even funnier selves.

It occurred to me that at 25, Sweeney was young enough to be Stone’s granddaughter. She is actually six years younger than Mick’s eldest granddaughter, Assisi, who is the mother of his nine-year-old great-granddaughter Ezra. Confusingly, though perhaps not for him, Sweeney is also 19 years older than Mick’s youngest child, Deveraux, so she is old enough to be Deveraux’s mother. But maybe I’m disturbing everyone by obsessing over this old rap? Probably.

Anyway, “Evil”. The first Rolling Stones route. A killer stop-start riff, a driving rhythm section, Mick’s lyrics delivered with a comical growl: “It hasn’t rained in a month, the river’s dry/We haven’t made love and I want to know why.” Touching, isn’t it?

Now that I was hot for a variety of reasons and genuinely fearing heatstroke, I canceled my trip to the office, caught the Overground train at Hackney Central station and sang “Angry” all the way home. This is not my favorite Stones song. (“Satisfaction,” not that Fallon asked.) But it’s damn good.

“Wicked” is out now. Hackney Diamonds will be released on October 20th.