sex and the City Has it changed the way you have sex?
I saw sex and the City From start to finish more times than I care to admit. Like many superfans, I grew up watching the show and wanted to emulate its characters. more than any other film or television show, the women of SAT Extension They had a profound influence on who I wanted to be: what to wear, what cocktails to drink, where to eat, who to sleep with, and how often and how. The fact that I became a sex columnist with a love of impractical shoes and a drinking problem, and ended up living in New York City, just two blocks from Carrie’s real street, was no accident.
See more
On the top, sex and the City This inspired me to have sex to gain knowledge, and I guess I’m not alone. With a revolving cast of relative strangers the series makes casual, spontaneous, and often absurd sex feel glamorous and full of potential. I watched the series and thought: Can I really consider myself a modern woman if I haven’t made out with a sociopathic banker in the bathroom of the hottest restaurant in the Meatpacking District? I would not say. Revisiting the series 25 years later, I couldn’t help but wonder: sex and the City Has it changed the way we have sex?
An innovative vision of female sexuality
I first watched the series when I was 13, sneaking through episodes with girlfriends after our parents had gone to bed. We had no clue what was going on, but we certainly had never seen such an unashamedly sexual woman on screen. (Remember these were the years when Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson remained a virgin until their marriage). At that time it was absurd to think that women had sex just for fun, like men did. In contrast, wayward women were usually portrayed as wicked or disposable. For example, have you ever noticed that in almost every horror movie, any woman who dares to make eye contact with a man is the first to be stabbed or eaten by a zombie? Yes, this is not a coincidence. Even in the late 90s, when SAT Extension First aired, slut-shaming was ubiquitous, both in reality and in fiction. From the Scarlet Letter For Monica Lewinsky, some women have been screwed — literally and figuratively — since the dawn of time.
but then came the group SAT ExtensionAs a ray of light for all. Looking back today, the show’s portrayal of female sexuality is often cutting-edge, which may make it easy in 1998 to see women talking about orgasms, threesomes, and casual sex without any embarrassment. Brunch. (Though it’s hard to find a show now where female characters don’t discuss anal sex over Aperol and avocado toast in at least one episode. I guess that’s called progress).
It was more than a decade ago that women dined at sadomasochistic restaurants fifty Shades… Sadism has been made basic. In 1998, when Charlotte became addicted to the now-infamous Rabbit vibrator in Season 1, there were only a few high-end sex toys on the market, and owning one was still considered taboo. But after that episode aired, there were lines of women in front of sex shops wanting to buy the rabbit. SAT Extension He allowed them to do and say things that had previously been very humiliating, embarrassing, or, how to say … “bitch”.
Sex expert Carrie was actually a kink-shamer
Now, in 2023, it is clear from our perspective that the show is not Always I’ve been so sex positive. Take, for example, Carrey’s now famous quip: “I’m not even sure bisexuality exists. I guess it’s just a stop on the way to Gay Town,” to which Miranda replies, “Is that Ricky Martinville?” isn’t right next to? In short, it’s objectively funny. Less hilarious, however, was the fact that Carrey was a kink-shamer who described trans sex workers as “half man, half woman, totally disturbing.” doer” and used the word “whore” as a preferred slur—perhaps not ideal qualities for a sex reporter.
Then there was the time Carrey publicly mocked her politician boyfriend for his willingness to pee in his column. In my opinion, this was a pretty bad job: How dare she pass up her chance to pee on a sexy guy like John Slattery? a tragedy. Or there was the episode where he made Samantha look like a whore after he caught her giving a blowjob to the guy from World Wide Express, to which Sam responded with a truly iconic quip: “I don’t want to be treated by you or the company.” I will not let you be the judge.” Of all the characters, Sam’s sex-positive attitude is the best, which is interesting, given that Carrie is supposed to be a “sex expert”.
soulless sex
but for all the distorted light SAT Extension offered, are there aspects of the show’s idea of sexual liberation that can feel a little, well… soulless? Yes, it was awesome to see a bunch of happy, successful women in their 30s and 40s having casual sex; However, they tended to treat emotional sensitivity as if it were a particularly bad strain of HPV. These were women who, with the exception of Charlotte, often seemed allergic to romance. Hand-holding, co-sleeping and a vague maternal instinct were generally considered regressive and elemental. Literally, Carrie’s goal in the pilot episode is to have sex in a completely casual way, devoid of any emotion: to have sex “like a man”, she says. As it turns out, there is nothing less beautiful than feelings.
In a way, it was exciting to see female characters whose aspirations weren’t to marry right, move to the suburbs, and have some kids. But the show often covers women He They desire these things as losers. (see episode Baby Shower, in which the girls travel to Connecticut for their friend’s party, only for Samantha to sarcastically remark “It’s sad how she uses a baby to validate her existence”). But isn’t there a choice between soulless sex and hellish domestic boredom? Sure, as the series went on, the romance was embraced more and more, but only up to a certain point. The women looked for love, but Carrie continued to vomit at the sight of the wedding ring, Samantha still referred to monogamy as a disease, and Miranda still hated her child.
And I – and I’m sure some of you too – attached to his worldview. I aspired to be “above” knowing how to fry an egg, instead preferring to go out every night, use my kitchen for storage, and become the random delivery boy who would pick up rent. Would instead buy $500 Manolo Blahniks: This, I thought, was what a modern woman had to be. But then you turn 30 and suddenly realize that being a tired, grown kid with a credit card in the red isn’t as glamorous as it once seemed. You realize that there might be something alluring about growing up, cooking some pasta, being vaguely still, and not falling into an open sidewalk cellar (à la Samantha) to avoid holding hands in public. (I’m still working on this last one).
two extremes of femininity
Progress often swings like a pendulum: SAT Extension presented two ends of femininity, but perhaps neither option is final. Our lovely female foursome figures out how to have the kind of wild sex life they want. But perhaps we should be craving something more complex than the sex versus child dichotomy, and I think we’re getting there. I feel like we’re getting to a point where we can be free to live our wildest desires, but also to read Brene Brown, to wear sneakers, to master Alison Roman’s bean stew. , to avoid calling our “son of an ass” friend and not scolding ourselves for occasionally feeling something, and maybe even finding it charming to do so.
US Vogue columnist Carle Signortino, 37, created the blog Slutver, which was based on the book of the same name. He has his own channel (Viceland), and has worked as a writer on the Apocalypse Now series.
Read also:
This article was originally published at Vogue America