Summer 2023: the “infrachiappa” swimsuit is in fashion!

Perhaps it will be hormones that cease to be “a thousand” with age, as a result of which a person is more inclined to practice what I call “ophthalmic sex”, the fact is that the beach is the perfect place to release this minimum of voyeurism, which , for better or for worse, belongs to each of us.
Perhaps some of you remember that in 2019 I wrote an article called “Summer, boobs in the wind? That’s why I’m not in fashion anymore” in which I noted that the fashion for flaunting “upper roundness” without a veil has finally waned among women, and in 2021 another one on a similar theme called “August 2021, topless , goodbye: it’s the summer of ass in the wind ”, in which I focused my attention on the part of the swimsuit that covers the so-called “side part”.
Both of these editorials, if you like, are still available on the Tviweb site.
Two years have passed since the last one, and in order not to lose the two-year rhythm of previous works, I wanted to conduct a “reconnaissance” of what trends are on our beaches this year.
Obviously, I am referring to Venetian beaches suitable for everyone, especially for families, and not exclusive or more “frontier” shores, where perhaps one can experiment with outfits or behavior, so to speak, “less orthodox”.
In general, it seems to me that even this summer, which is coming to an end (always remember that after August 15 we already start talking about school), the trends that I found in the previous four years are largely confirmed.
In the sense that not a single woman, young or old, no longer exposes her mammary glands to the open air (now they are shown only by Femen passionists).
The trend by now seems to have taken hold: the tits are well gathered in the cups of the bra, I imagine with great displeasure that part of the male universe that loved to peep, so much “it’s worth nothing to look at”, and for years even the Church did not consider it a great sin.
The result was innocent raids by husbands or boyfriends who at a certain moment said to their partners: “I’ll go for a walk along the coast”, and instead wandering among the umbrellas admired the dreamy looks, admiring more or less less busts, less sculpted than those of the ladies who dared expose your chest to the wind.
Of course, these were other times, and if you close your eyes and remember those Sundays by the sea, you can see grown men, as well as teenagers, passing by the beds where the “new Amazons” displayed their “product”, feigning indifference, but pulling behind the obligatory sunglasses, almost at the risk of squinting, which in this case would be quite appropriately defined as “Venusian”.
Archival upper body exposure, now out of fashion, made it clear that women, never forgetting that they are tools of seduction, would focus on the other part of the swimsuit, the one that envelops the so-called “side of the body.” ”, a euphemism that, to be honest, has always puzzled me a bit.
We say bread instead of bread and wine instead of wine; here we are talking about the priest, lower back, priest, that anatomical part that we, boys, always look at girls not only on the beach, but also in everyday life.
Raise your hand who is without sin!
On the beach, of course, it is different, because there are no frills to hide the traces of dilapidation, and there things are seen as they are, both good and bad.
And if I have to give statistics, I would say that season after season, a certain type of “underpants” is becoming more and more popular.
Look, I’m not an expert on swimwear patterns, and to be honest, I struggle to decide between bandeau or bandeau, bikini, triangle bikini, brazilian, strappy bikini top, one-piece swimsuit, one-shoulder one-shoulder swimsuit, mankini , monokini, thong, scuba diving, skirt, thong, tankini, pea coat.
So ladies, forgive me for any language inaccuracies, but I’m referring to exactly the type of underpants that I define as an “infrachain suit,” which is similar to a thong, but with less fabric, and is located entirely inside the buttocks. .
In practice, the effect for the observer is such that the lady or the young lady walks “naked ass.”
I confess that I have focused on my ophthalmological statistical study (sic!), and I think I have established that there is a clear and distinct will of women to emphasize the buttocks more and more, so much so that even those who find themselves in a regular suit occasionally casually push the tissue into the “infrachial” canal.
Of course, this type of swimsuit is currently a favorite among teenagers and young girls, but the trend is to expand this fashion; so much so that I’d say we’ve entered a “world of asses” that women want to flaunt as if they were all Celebrity Island protagonists or paparazzi-fighting VIPs.
It is clear that the more you open the body, the more you expose all sorts of imperfections to the review and judgment of others, and so, while during the “tits in the wind” neighbors with umbrellas were unbalanced in malicious judgments about the quality of the exposed “breasts” (too big, too small, too saggy, full of stretch marks, end, if appropriate, with the harshest verdict: “remade”), now faced with a floss swimsuit, women no longer say “what a beautiful swimsuit, or what a beautiful bikini”, but “that one has cellulite ”, or “that one is limp”.
Of course, if you want to listen to everyone, so as not to be criticized for their physical characteristics, women should wear a veil, as in Afghanistan, but without going to such excess, I want to offer some considerations, also based on the philosophical category “Aesthetics” (please don’t laugh at me!)
Starting from age. Slightly straining, I would say that there should be a minimum and maximum age for wearing an “infrachiappale” suit. I would suggest a range of 18-30, because before 18 they are still girls in my eyes, and over 30 they are no longer girls, and often this is no longer such a gazebo.
Then, although I know I’m touching a very delicate key, I would say that we also need the right physique. I’m not saying it’s Charlize Theron from the good old days, but if you have a big butt, saggy, or a little cellulite, I think a traditional bikini or even a one-piece swimsuit would be just right.
About “context” the discussion gets tricky, but for me to understand, if you’re in Mykonos or Formentera, beachwear is almost “mandatory” but in Rosolina Mare or Eraclea, just to give two examples, among cute old ladies with veins. varicose veins, old men with bellies like watermelons, and a lot of families with kids, maybe that’s a little less appropriate.
I have some doubts about inflachiappale making a better tan, because if you don’t have to advertise Coppertone with a dog biting your panties, what are you doing with those few extra inches of dark skin?
I have nothing to say about the comfort or discomfort of these shorts, because since the time of the Most Serene, they have been used to express “Chi bèla vol parer, la pèle del cul ga da doler.” As for me, I’m sure I would spend the whole day removing underwear from the intergluteal groove, as the doctors call it. For others; de gustibus … “.
You see, I do not even touch on the topics of good taste and even common sense of decency, which some people already talk about, because I am not a moralist or a fanatic, and I know very well that swimwear and fashion are the result of the era in which we live, and I am equally well aware that for every woman the swimsuit is much more than an article of clothing, for it is, as I said, an extraordinary instrument of seduction.
In the end, I don’t know if I made you smile more or piss you off, but I think it’s fair to repeat that, for God’s sake, every woman does as she pleases when she feels more at ease.
It’s your ass, not mine!
But never forget that the eye, like the ass, also wants its share!
Umberto Baldo

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