Travis Kelsey’s ex, Taylor Swift and what it means to be a girl’s girlfriend

She keeps secret what she is told in confidence. She borrows a plump sponge from the bar’s bathroom. And she celebrates her friend’s victories just as much as she sits with her during her defeats.

It’s just being a “girl”, a trustworthy woman who stops at nothing to make other women happy, safe and cared for. Her green flag is that she points out his red flags – she won’t come for her man and is vigilant in protecting girls from bad guys.

From Ariana Grande to Taylor Swift, the term has been all over dating discussions in pop culture lately, and using the phrase in a variety of contexts shows how much intention matters. Whether someone is called a “girl” or not, they are subject to social judgment as a princess or an outcast.

So what happens when someone isn’t a girl’s girl? Here we see a paradox: If a woman chooses an alternative behavior, it creates a slippery slope for finger-pointing, according to Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist who specializes in women’s relationships.

“It gives you the right to judge,” Greenberg said. “You’re either a girl or you’re not… Any time you have a very strong label attached to you, there’s a risk that it will be used as a weapon.”

Ariana Grande, Travis Kelsey’s ex and his girlfriend’s girlfriends

Take, for example, a viral text exchange between the ex-wife of Grande’s current flame, Wicked co-star Ethan Slater. When Grande and Slater’s relationship became public, his ex-partner Lily Jay criticized the pop star for allegedly ruining their marriage.

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“Really (Ariana’s) story. Not a girl,” Jay told Page Six in July. “My family is just collateral damage.”

Then this week, Travis Kelce’s ex Maya Banberry warned Swift about dating the Kansas City Chiefs star. (Swift was seen cheering next to mother Kelsey in the family box at Arrowhead Stadium on Sunday.)

“Taylor seems like such a fun girl with a great personality so I wish her luck, but I wouldn’t be a girl if I didn’t tell her to be smart! … Only time will tell, but as they always say, once a cheater, always a cheater,” Banberry told the Daily Mail.

The implication of Banberry’s comment, whether she meant it or not, put Swift on trial for her “girly girl” status, Greenberg said.

The problem with the “girly girl” idea

In a climate of gender norms that shame women for their sexuality and subject them to dating scrutiny, “girly girls” play a necessary collective role in protecting each other from misogyny, inequality, and outright violence.

The “women supporting women” aspect of the phrase is, according to Greenberg, an extremely positive aspect. But the label also reinforces ambiguous rules about what a “good girl” is, risking punishing anyone who doesn’t live up to those expectations. The greatest crime, then, is not the behavior of the man or partner who committed the violence, per se.

In the girl category, there should be “room for different types of behavior,” Greenberg said, and women should remember that there are dynamics at play in any relationship, especially with celebrities we know nothing about.

Swift herself has had a rocky history: Considered a “girly girl,” she famously brought her “Squad” together during the “1989” era, only to see that castle crumble amid criticism that promotes a tribe of successful , and very white, cisgender, and rich people. and thin women haven’t proven their point about inclusivity.

Since then, Swift has taken a more nuanced (if possible) approach to her female friendships, most recently walking arm in arm in New York with actress Sophie Turner, who is going through a messy divorce from Joe Jonas.

Swift’s visible friendship with Turner has completely cemented her reputation as the “girl who comes to a friend in a crisis.” But will Swift heed Banberry’s advice in true “girl” style? And does she need it at all?

Addressing Swifties, Greenberg said they needed to give Swift the “grace” they could call a friend: “My biggest concern is that Travis’ behavior needs to be discussed, and the fact that the focus is on Swift highlights a larger social problem, which is that men give high fives and women feel ashamed.”

Time will tell whether the football player and singer will officially unite. Either way, the girls will be watching.