The sex you see on screen is the most controversial discussion of all today. While social media apps are virtually endless, discussions about sex in movies and TV shows will never go out of style. For the record, we really enjoy looking at old school sex.
However, not all scenes in this genre are the same. How does it prove Idolseries expansion of HBO exposed to public ridicule, some things are best left to the imagination. No matter how wonderful scenes of tender, loving, passionate, moving hugs you find, some of them are simply meaningless. Scenes where, instead of immersing yourself in the euphoria of the moment, you get stuck thinking about anatomy and why people love the idea of making love on hardwood so much. Yes, there are some really silly sex scenes and we took the liberty of showing them all.
Here’s our ranking of the 10 most embarrassing sex scenes we’ve had the displeasure of seeing.
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10. Avatars (2009)
Avatars and bunches of dubious origin go hand in hand in the collective memory, which is quite funny. Especially since the scene in question was never part of the 2009 release of the film, in line with the Mandela effect. In fact, the moment when Jake Sullywith features and voice Sam WorthingtonAND Neytiri In execution Zoe Saldana they make love in a completely stupid way by connecting their USB hairs, according to the love tradition of the gods Na’vi, was downgraded to an extended version released the following year and never reappeared. It’s probably for the best. With all the good things we want James CameronDid you expect anything other than the giggles of the younger ones? In addition, the Na’vi commonly use their hair and phallic appendage to spiritually attach themselves to the planet as well. In short, are they slamming the ground? All questions best left unanswered.
Contributed by Jack King
9. Obsession (2023)
The frustration you get when something that is praised as an erotic thriller, a very attractive genre, doesn’t even pay the minimum price to be sexy. Obsession, a series about a leading British surgeon who is having an affair with his son’s girlfriend and better off going to therapy, made headlines when it hit Netflix in April, but only because the sex scenes it’s peppered with are between comical and sad deserved it. a reputation for being “the most unintentionally comedic series of the year”. On a show where sex always feels painful, nasty, and superficial, like a dog drooling on someone’s leg, you’re spoiled for choice when it comes to deciding which scene is the most torturous yet deserves an honorable mention. Richard Armitage when he sneaks into his son’s girlfriend’s Parisian hotel room only to sniff the sheets and fuck the mattress. To cry later, after coming. As a stage it’s only worth a hysterical chuckle. Suffocated.
Contribution of Xuanlin Tam
8. Twilight. Saga. Dawn. Part 1 (2011)
Twilight has been criticized for its overly religious portrayal of sex and virginity ever since it moved from a fanfiction site to bookstore shelves. beauty Kristin Stewart and Edward from Robert Pattison it took them three films to make love, obviously after the wedding. And finally, when we got right to the point, after a long time, we could only see the montage, rather slow, running along the back of intertwined legs and arms, without forgetting those tense and uncomfortable looks typical of de Pattinson. and Della Stewart in a particularly passionate moment. Edward breaks the headboard because he cares too much about his Bella. Of course, the movie was made for young people, and we certainly didn’t expect to see an R-rated relationship between humans and vampires, but there could definitely be a way to heighten the tension rather than create a sense of some kind of skirmish. announcement Progress in the preservation of virginity in the name of Jesus.
Contributed By Lucy Ford
7. House of Gucci (2021)
Apparently only two things House of Gucci imprinted in the collective consciousness, namely the Italian accent Jared Letounwitting emulator Super Marioand place of action Lady Gaganailed to the supreme ecstasy inherent in the idyll of love from Adam Driver against the wall of the latter’s office. Our Lady’s breasts rise and fall rhythmically, almost driven by Puccini’s powerful overtures. This is something very supernatural. They clap and move with such force that it seems that they are about to break through the wall. We can never forget the grunts and roars of the kind Adam and Lady Gaga giving us their best animal experience as they fuck vigorously to climax. Dear and expensive, this is undoubtedly kitsch.
Contribution of Xuanlin Tam
6. Brokeback mountain (2005)
The mechanics of gay sex don’t usually happen on celluloid; in fact, the films in which a sachet of lube can be seen can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Not only that: the concept of anal washing seems like something terribly alien. And here we are in Brokeback mountain, a heartfelt exploration of years of love between two pastors whose whispers of love are transported into the icy fog of Wyoming. In a scene reminiscent of the first impulse of desire, unexpected and strong between Ennis Del Mar Heath Ledger and Jack Twist Jake Gyllenhaal, Del Mar shoves his cock into Twist’s mouth without much frills, to the delight of the latter. Here we wanted to convey the bestial desire of the protagonists without building up a story of passion in the slightest, but you can’t help but think about the mess they could make in that tent. Someone, at least now, is unbuttoning.
Contributed by Jack King
5. Idol (2023)
In fact, we are encouraged that we are still fascinated by the idea of seeing sex scenes in 2023. However, we still don’t seem to be able to handle the sex scene that has any flair. Free nudes and all sex Idol they were practically the only speech that could be made throughout the story, languid to the point of ridicule, since not a single episode spared us breasts, nipples, or porno moans. However, his infamous sex scene, centered on Tedros of Abel ‘The Weeknd’ Tesfayeyelling commands to startle the strangely agitated Jocelyn Lily Rose Depp, wins the award for the worst moment of the entire series. In addition to symbolizing very little understanding of female pleasure, the series finally comes to understand the lack of originality of misogyny, this is a completely inadequate series. We are very sad to see Tesfaye and the co-creator of the series, Sam Levinsonconvinced that they are arousing, when instead they only bring up unpleasant memories of the fucks they had. We all deserve better sex than this.
Contributed By Lucy Ford
4. Bad teacher is a bad teacher (2011)
This film is accompanied by an inner memory, unfortunately indelible: Justin Timberlake what rubs against Cameron Diaz momentarily interrupting her fake, too-rhythmic moans to say, “Your jeans look great on mine.” And what? Was it a campaign against the denim industry? A death sentence for too intimate jeans? We begged for an end to this pathetic scene, but the good Justin seemed intent on building up the tension endlessly without releasing himself, until a sound like liquid fart let us know that he had finally come in his pants.
Contribution of Xuanlin Tam
3. extreme love (2003)
Ladies, have you ever compared your vagina to a turkey at Christmas dinner? extreme lovedebut on the screen of the then boyfriends, now husband and wife, Bennifer, was supposed to be a hit, but something weird happens when real couples indulge in even the hottest on-screen entertainment. In intent, this would be fun “behind the scenes”, but instead, it often tastes stale as well as weird. The film is not helped by the plot in which one J-Lo lesbian so falls in love Affleck so obnoxious as to be funny. And she wants him so badly that she decides she wants to have sex with a man for the first time. But, if you really want to see it, at least we warned you. We do not advise you, and we cannot believe that we have to say this, to begin cunnilingus with the phrase:
“It’s turkey time! Glu-glu-glu. Think of all the Christmas dinners ruined forever.
Contributed By Lucy Ford
2. watchman (2009)
It’s often complained that superhero movies are completely devoid of sex, but there are some great examples of hot erotica there too. For example, Batman from Robert Pattison and Selina Kyle Zoe Kravitz they never have sex in Batman, but the sexual tension between them is enough to turn you on under the cloak. On the other hand, we think that watchman give us the biggest lesson on how not to do it in spandex. We are referring in particular to the final part, when the Night Owl played by Patrick Wilson and silk ghost Malin Akerman decide to let their instincts run because they can’t think of anything better after returning to superhero roles so many years later, withHallelujah From Leonard Cohen in the background. It’s certainly a beautiful song, but in this case it’s so out of place that it’s just ridiculous. In fact, he manages to kill all the sensuality, further increasing the level of embarrassment, just over an hour from the moment Dr. Manhattan, played here by Billy Crudup, gave us a vision of his huge electric blue cock. Of course, we didn’t go back to stopping the picture right away. You don’t have to be such a masochist.
Contributed by Jack King
1. dancers (1995)
How is it said? Not a word about the rope in the hanged man’s house? dancers has been re-evaluated and discarded so many times since its release in 1995 that it seems to be a random generator of opinions: “That sucks!”, “That’s perfect”, “Tits! My God, how many boobs! Although, in our opinion, this film, full of nudity, with Las Vegas dancers at the center and about sex as a mechanic of power, fits firmly into the canon of classic kitsch, rationality requires us to claim that its infamous pool sex scene. without a doubt, the most absurd in the history of cinema. We can’t help but feel that the requested choreography was completely out of place. Where to begin? What physical preparation was necessary for this scene? Has anyone choked on water? How did he do Elizabeth Berkley to avoid permanent neck damage? It’s just the dumbest thing ever seen on screen.
Contribution Lucy Ford
Article originally published in GQ UK.