Are you part of a large group of people who have welcomed existence Barbenheimeror are you on the side of those who couldn’t wait for the Nolan and Gerwig films to get you out of this torture, you can’t help but admit that the campaign memes and certainly spontaneously with the simultaneous release Barbie AND Oppenheimer was a huge success and, at least in part, contributed to the (so far) excellent box office performance of two films. And you know what happens when something works and above all bring money? You repeat this over and over until people get bored and decide to put their money elsewhere.
Do you really think this is how it ended? That it will never happen again in the history of mankind, that two long-awaited and clearly opposite films – one fully colored about a famous toy, the other very serious about a famous historical character – will be released on the same weekend, thus giving life to the least four opposing factions (“I only see myself as serious,” “I only see myself as funny,” “I see both,” and “I see neither”) while facing photoshopped images and puns in the brutal social media arena? You really don’t think so. After all, you know what awaits us. It will happen again and we will drink from the LOL fountain there as if it were the newest and most original thing in the world. So let’s get ready, not overwhelmed. Let’s try to imagine what will happen in the coming years, what new Barbenheimer. We look to the future before retreating, eyes wide in horror.
GI Jeanne d’Arc
Pablo Larrain shoots a new provocative biopic dedicated to Joan of Arc (Anya Taylor-Joy), which promises to be even more shocking than Luc Besson’s, which begins with Giovanna’s mother being stabbed and hanging from a closet in which a little girl is hidden. Meanwhile Chad Stahelski working on a new reboot of the saga G.I. JoeWith Dwayne Johnson in everyone’s skin G.I. Joe.
Hungry Hungry Oppo
Christopher Nolan makes a crazy gesture and agrees to film a sequel Oppenheimer, which, however, due to lack of material is entirely devoted to the nameless old age of the scientist; the film is released direct-to-video and Nolan invites his audience to watch it on the iPad. For netflix, Bong Joon Ho returns to the atmosphere Fine with a film about Hungry hungry hippos. By the way, did you know that the world record for completing a game on HHH belongs to Axel Tuanzebe, a former Manchester United defender who is now at large?
Lost in the mists of time, I Ninja Combattini they return to glory thanks to John Woo who loses a bad bet and finds himself forced to guide Sima Liu into the worst cheating shit of his career. Meanwhile in Italy casting Charlotte Rampling like the main character Tinabiopic dedicated to Tina Anselmi, partisan.
Phil Lord and Christopher Miller live broadcast dedicated to Mighty MaxDo you remember this? It was sold along with its shells, which were miniature sets of beautiful movies between sci-fi and horror. My favorite was the Ancient Egypt theme in the form of a snake. Ken LoachMeanwhile, he agrees to make a big-budget film for the first time to talk about life. Karl Marx (Mads Mikkelsen with a big beard).
Mr. Red Muscle
Not a liquid plumber, but a puppet with outstretched arms: a film dedicated to him will be made by the director Zack Snyderwhich promises to “define the essence of Mister Muscle’s existential pain (John Cena) and know how to tell it in a story that will entertain but also make you think.” On the same days he also returns to the hall Luca Guadagnino with his muscular redbiopic dedicated to the scandalous figure Ilona Staller (Miriam Leone).
My little Tony
Bye Joe Wright returns to the room to tell us another quintessentially English story about former Prime Minister Tony Blair, Harmony Korin Surprise agrees to write and direct what could only be the first chapter of a new cinematic universe dedicated to my mini ponylive action with real playing ponies.
Bye Kate McKinnon debuted as a director with his micro-doll film Polly Pocket (Mattel, like Barbie, for a new chapter in Mattel Cinematic Universe), the female equivalent Mighty Max because we didn’t grow up in a gendered world anyway, Paul Thomas Anderson returns to cinema after nearly a decade with a biopic dedicated to Thomas Kelly, inventor of the Apollo lunar module that put a man on the moon.
Kenneth Branagh Mikhail Sergeevich Gorbachev Gorbachev, a biopic he also directed. The release of the long-awaited blockbuster coincides with the release of Tamagochiland Takashi Miikededicated to the famous electronic creature that taught an entire generation how to treat animals.
Intoxicated with success Barbie, Greta Gerwig try to repeat the great upheaval by finding an old half-forgotten Italian doll and entrusting Margot Robbie also the role Tanya. Meanwhile in Russia Alexander Sokurov he has already prepared a biographical film dedicated to Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin, shot entirely in one anarchic long shot, where all cuts are clearly visible.
I’ve been writing about movies, especially monsters, explosions and air strikes, since before the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis. I have also written books on the subject along with the rest of the 400calci staff. I translate books, organize events, and even speak when asked. I even worked on a fantasy-satirical role-playing game just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.