Can you still be friends with your ex? Celebrity Successful Couples | vogue italy

And then there is Katy Perrymarried to Orlando Bloomwho is on good terms with an ex Miranda Kerr (Katy Perry, who also attends Kora Organics, Miranda’s skincare brand), and so it’s assumed Orlando is too.

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from U.S, Sonia Bruganelli and Paolo Bonolis they told in a very intimate interview Vanity Fair evolution of their history, while now the fact is the return of friendship between Michelle Hunziker and Eros Ramazzotti.

How to stay friends no matter what? How many faces does love have? And can we continue to call him that?

We asked Federica Cairoli, clinical psychologist of the Jonas team from Monza and Brianza, centers of psychoanalytic clinics founded by Massimo Recalcati.

Can you still be friends with your ex?

“Yes, it is possible, but there are some significant prerequisites and psychological dynamics, not to be confused with strategies that can matter, and specifically they are the subjective working out of the end of the relationship, personal growth and evolution, having children, mutual respect that has remained unchanged or reopened after the breakup, clarity of intentions and expectations,” explains Cairoli, who highlighted, in particular, three stages leading to the transformation of passionate and exclusive love into another form of lovein which the affection goes beyond the planning of the couple, but still remains true.

1 time

Only time leads to the adjustment of the family system. “Wounds take time to heal, as does forgiveness, which does not immediately recognize what seems unforgivable, and intimacy. Thus, time is an ally that allows you to overcome the tsunami of separation and open up unprecedented opportunities. In case of betrayal Jacques Derrida in Forgiveness says:

This does not mean that forgiveness is a prerequisite for maintaining or continuing a relationship after betrayal, but it is still an important aspect of evolution that may allow you to maintain a relationship with your ex.”

2 – Children

Children they are the engine and cause of rapprochementwhich pushes us to look at the other no longer as a husband or wife, but as a parent. “The presence of children should be the motivation to push the former couple, who will always be the parent couple, to mourn the end in a less self-centered and more oriented way towards a new family form, constructive rather than destructive,” says Cairoli. An important element is the age of children at the time of separation: “It is easier, but not obvious, to involve children in the experience of a “big happy family”, a phase of childhood in which spontaneity, contact and reassurance should prevail, rather than introducing adolescent children into a new relational reality in the midst of their existential dramas.”

3 – New love

“Another aspect that, based on my clinical experience, is important is the presence
new partners. This situation, in which both exes have entered into an affective-sentimental relationship with other comrades, represents a kind of balance, albeit an imaginary one, that facilitates and predisposes to openness and exchange. In this way, what is trivially called the extended family becomes possible, as if it would sanction the end of the previous story and appease all the protagonists involved in it. At this point, psychologically, no one is in the position of a loser or missing, but everyone has reached a new balance from which to start again, also involving new protagonists as an active part, and not just those who have to suffer from ghosts. of the past”.

Always reminding us that love always loves and therefore requires active and constant action. Also stay friends with your ex.

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