Chris Evans, who has experienced “ghosting” on his skin

Well yes: the famous interpreter of Captain America in the films of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, star of the new comedy Ghosted, he told the same magazine People to have lived the trauma of this experience on his skin. Ghosting, for the uninitiated, generally occurs in the first phase of dating and provides that one of the two people of the couple interrupts the dialogue without any explanation, disappearing like a ghost (from the English ghost) and never being found again. So no longer answering calls, text messages, and so on. The other person finds himself unable to make contact overnight with the one with whom he was having a conversation or, in the worst case, a real story.

Back to Chris Evans, here’s what happened to the 41-year-old actor, who has been happily engaged to his colleague Alba Baptista for about a year, 25-year-old Portuguese actress with whom he found happiness (among his famous exes: Sandra Bullock and Jessica Biel). Evans said: “What I experienced is much worse than ghosting. I started getting fewer and fewer text responses and realized that the other person was deliberately ignoring mein the most superficial way possible. Always in the magazine People Chris Evans has revealed that what he looks for in his partner is a mix of vulnerability and humility. «I am an incurable romantic: I love declarations of love, I’m moved when I hear a ballad and when I see a sunset. I love love».

8 strategies to recover after «ghosting»

Since we like the idea of ​​being able to offer practical solutions, here are 8 ways to mend your mind after being ghosted.

First point: according to the experts of the magazine PsychologyTodaywe start from considering the other person’s silence a real response. The ghoster is unfortunately using silence to communicate brutally that he is no longer interested. It is necessary to accept it and move on, without persisting in seeking explanations from him/her.

Point 2: Try not to take it personally. This way of closing without explanation and confrontation probably has more to do with the ghoster than you. For example, it is likely that the person who ghosts is unable to have intimate relationships (avoidant attachment style).

Three: avoid generalizing and, for the future, do not fall into all-encompassing and negative thoughtsfor example by repeating to yourself that all men/women are equal, cowards and selfish.

Four: face and overcome this experience head on, with the help of a therapist if necessary, but don’t preclude yourself from a new love just because a ghoster has taken away your hopes and energies.

Five: to this end, dedicate yourself to practices of awareness and gratitude, learning to recognize what is good in you, in your relationships and in your life.

You are: spend your free time with people who love you, appreciate you and accept you for who you are.

Seven and eight: Surround yourself with friends who are able to listen to you and make you feel understood. In the next outings with a possible partner, learn to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself and, at the same time, in the phase of getting to know each other keep an eye out for any signs of emotional immaturity. Any examples? Anyone who never manages to have conversations that go deep risks being a ghoster and disappearing as soon as the relationship enters the most intimate sphere. If you understand that you are inevitably attracted to these avoidant individuals consider (without judging yourself) the possibility of a course of psychological therapy. Often and willingly those who have had difficult family experiences and/or grew up in dysfunctional family environments tend to minimize their pain and falling into relational dynamics of co-dependence. Identifying these patterns, with the help of a good therapist, is the first step in freeing yourself and finding a partner capable of respect.

More stories from Vanity Fair that may interest you:

Why are we so afraid of ghosting?

You said ghosting?