THEYour partner always talks about his ex. He would also like to introduce her to you. But you have no intention of getting to know her: you really don’t like her. There is nothing strange: it can happen. But if you’re wondering why you hate your boyfriend’s exes, read on. You might be amazed…
You dated and met his ex. He introduced her to you, but it bothered you: you don’t like her. The more you think about it, the more you realize that you hate your boyfriend’s exes. It can happen. How can it happen to meet people who are “unlike to skin”. It’s a natural instinct that we all have. According to some experts, it happens when we unconsciously recognize a part of ourselves that we don’t like. If, however, it is our boyfriend’s ex who makes us nervous, well, things are different. The reasons are, perhaps, deeper. As the jealousy, for example. Or insecurity. Think about it: her exes might be the nicest people on the planet, but you hate them even though you don’t know them personally. Why does this happen?
Hailey Bieber hates Selena Gomez
It’s pretty common to dislike your boyfriend’s exes. She knows something about it Hailey Bieber. In 2018, the model married the singer Justin Bieber who, up to that point, he had been engaged to Selena Gomez. Since then, Hailey has never hidden her dislike for her husband’s ex. Last January, Hailey Bieber posted a video of her having a drink with friends Kendall Jenner And Justine Skyeas a background voice says, “I’m not saying he deserved it, but I’m saying God’s timing is always right.” A dig for Selena Gomez? The model denied. But Bieber’s ex said: “It’s okay! I don’t let these things get me down.” Since then, the social digs have never stopped. Yet we are talking about a married woman who, years later, still hates her husband’s ex. Why does she do it? And why does this happen to us too?
Do you hate your boyfriend’s ex? Blame the insecurity
The real reasons why we don’t like our boyfriend’s ex can be different: insecurity, competition, jealousy. Insecure people, for example, tend to idealize their partner’s exes. Think about it: maybe you have an image of your “rival” that does not correspond to reality. You think she is an exceptional, attractive, perfect woman. As a result, comparing her to her makes you feel less good, less sexy, less everything. She ends up feeling threatened and you start wondering why your boyfriend chose you or if she really loves you.
Never compete
Idealizing your partner’s ex leads you to feel less good and beautiful than her. At this point, you may enter competition with her. Or rather: with the image that you have created in your mind. Thus, you may begin to implement behaviors or actions aimed at demonstrating your superiority. In doing so, however, you may not feel comfortable with yourself. Also, your boyfriend may notice your strange behavior. Your relationship may suffer. Stop: You’re letting your boyfriend’s ex take up too much space in your head and in your relationship. This will continue to perpetuate your dislike, but it will also have repercussions on your relationship. Best to avoid. Rather, she begins to question why you idealize her so much. And why are you doing this.
Do you hate your boyfriend’s ex? Jealousy’s fault
What is your partner doing or not doing to make you feel secure in your relationship? If your relationship isn’t “secure,” you may be much more vulnerable to feelings of mistrust and jealousy. If your partner isn’t helping you feel secure in your relationship, you may be projecting feelings of jealousy toward their exes. Instead of giving in to these feelings, examine your boyfriend’s actions and the consequences these actions are triggering in you. Lack of security leads to distrust. Be honest with yourself and with him. Ask yourself: what is triggering these emotions and feelings? Are they rational? What are they rooted in? Am I creating an image of this person that is fake? Talk to your partner about how you feel. If you notice him comparing you to his exes, set boundaries. Tell him, “I don’t want you to compare me to her.” Or: “I don’t feel comfortable when she tells me about your past experiences with your ex.” Or, even: “I’d rather not go to an event that we know you’ll be attending.” Hating on your boyfriend’s ex isn’t wrong in itself, but it can be unhealthy and unproductive to your relationship success and emotional well-being. Nothing good comes from hate, especially if it comes from jealousy, competition, insecurity, or a similar feeling. Better run for cover.