Our Ottavio Cappellani went on the hunt for Country Cousins, the unlikely stars (in anticipation of the Skunk Anansie’s Skin) of the Rosolini Arancino festival. Here is our correspondent’s report, with “Mission Impossible” in his head (even if it was Taylor Swift) and with Maneskin’s “Shut Up and Okay” in his ears. Because without a cover there is no holiday …
St.Isilia, open area, 21:00 Start concert “Cousins Campagna” at the festival in Arancino 22:00 Salvuccio has to come and pick me up, and he is late as usual, and I already brushed my hair back an hour ago, because I have long hair, and I consider it my duty not to let it down in front of Cugini di Campagna, but it’s very hot and while I tie them up and patience. I told Salvuccio not to come with the family van that we took to the nudist beach of the Marianelli Reserve, marked POMPE SUBMERSE, partly because his mother read the report and roughly said, “But where the hell should I take Ottavio to you? ”, partly because this report had some success in these places, and the SUBMERSIBLE PUMPS van became very famous, and I do not want to be a VIP and remain modest. I have nothing to do but wait and tie my hair back and I start to think. Never think about hair that makes you hot. So I think basically it’s all about the fur, that crazy Rosolini festival in Arancino where, as it should be, you expect to find a comedian, an urban band and a midi keyboard duo, a Cugini di Campagna cover, and instead not only is there no cover, but there are real country cousins and this is only the first evening, because the Arancino festival lasts five days and on the last day comes Skin by Skunk Anansie so yes: it is definitely a fur issue. Lose fur, but not a vice. Because if you start with Country Cousins and end with Skin, whose hairstyle is similar to arancino (not conical, but round, like with butter and ham), then it is clear that the hair has something to complain about. what to do with it and it’s also part of the folk tradition of the festival concept because they’re all there to say it’s food and instead the truth is that many go there to see fur: country cousins.
While I’m thinking about fur, alien (there are fewer and fewer, now they are patches of skin, a little rough) and mine (I tied up my hair and said goodbye to my appearance), Salvuccio appears with an orange Opel Agila, which, however, remained agile soon after hitting the pavement, and now the right front wheel is off-axle, so we’re driving a little sideways, almost into the wind, to the concert.
Salvuccio asks me: “Do you think there is hair?” and i find the question deeply sexist and inappropriate so i start feigning insult.
“But what did I say?”
I remain in indignant silence.
Mission Impossible (tatta ta-ta tatta ta-ta)
lThe idea was to deliver arancino to the cousins from Campagna. and yet Cugini di Campagna is four and so I think I should ask for the arancino to be cut into four, but with how many slashes these days I don’t know if I’ll be within budget: they are already so expensive without Cugini di Campagna.
The idea is to get to Cugini di Campagna before the concert, while everyone is distracted by comedian Carlo Caneba., and I imagined myself climbing over barriers and walking over the heads of the unfortunate order and law enforcement until I was hit with a stun gun and the arancino exploded in my hand. So I contacted the organizers of the festival, who guaranteed a meeting without stun guns, to film a video of him delivering an arancino to his cousins from Campagna (they then made sure to cut it up because they are richer), but no one came. negotiate with Mr. Tolomeo.
And neither with traffic jams and crowds, what it sounded like a taylor swift concert So I arrive when they introduce the Cugini di Campagna who come on stage. with outfits sparkling with sequins, so I think I also live in the country and at the moment I’m wearing imitation crocs, cropped jeans (bad, all crooked, I don’t know how to cut straight, jeans) and a shirt with a hole (I make holes in them on purpose in the summer to make him wave), but from tomorrow I will leave the house at dawn to pee … to admire the new dawn, all in sequins and with artificial wedges. In summer with heat and reflection, I should more or less look like a Fantastic Four Human Torch with simulated wedges.
AND I start wandering around the Arancino festival with arancino in hand to contact the organizers and explain that I’m late but many compliments if I’m late, it’s because there are so many people as if they were Taylor Swift’s cousins.
The organizer I spoke to on the phone is not here. He’s by the sea in San Lorenzo, he tells me he’s sending me another number, but he doesn’t send it, so I start asking for information and I find the brother of the one who fries arancini on the counter, who explains to me that the organizer of the festival organized the party in San Lorenzo but now he has a big problem with the system and that is why he does not call me back and that he forgot to send me another number, then he asks me why I don’t eat arancino because then yes, it’s cold and I I tell him that I need it for something else, and I leave it there to think about what alternative uses for arancino might be.
WithSo I keep walking around the booth because I understand that sooner or later everyone passes here and finally I find another organizer who tells me: “But you you can only talk to the village cousins if they want toand I’m going to tell him that I have Taylor Swift’s phone number and that I’m ready to get around the crowds of patrons and law enforcement anyway and be able to shoot myself with a taser, because I’m from the IMF (Impossible Mission Force) and instead I tell him: ” Yes, sure”. “You don’t eat arancino?” “No, I plan to use it for something else.” After thinking for a few seconds while I hold the arancino impassively in my hand, he says, “We need to talk to Tolomeo, the manager.” “Let’s talk to Ptolemy.”
So he makes me go through the barrier and I feel the eyes of the public who admire and envy me and wonder who I am, with long hair I could be a second cousin from the village and I’m sure a dozen girls (strangely those are more beautiful , even if a woman cannot be judged by her appearance) they fell madly in love with me: this barrier was the distinction between “if she does not want to eat it, then why is she walking around with an arancino poorly dressed?” and “but I love him if he’s dressed eccentrically, of course he does because he’s very VIP.”
The manager of Tolomeo sits on the edge of the stage and watches the concert from there. He definitely looks more VIP than me. I cling to the railing of the stage, the ends of the imitation Crocs, and shout: “I’m a journalist, and I wonder if this is possible …”. “No!”. “But I haven’t finished…” “No!”. “It’s like it was in the past!” “No!”. Taylor Swift! “No!”.
Ten girls saw me talking to Tolomeo, and I’m sure that as soon as I get out of the fence, they will throw me panties or something like that.
I go out without panties. I think that these girls will also be beautiful (even if you don’t judge a woman by appearance), they will also be in love with me, but they have a bad goal, they have, and in village life, a goal is important, because I always watch the program on DMAX is about a family that sells guns and their daughter has crazy aim and is able to hit a bird from 300 meters away with her panties.
Shut up and okay, cover triumph (Maneskin)
St.Alvuccio sings “Zitti e Buoni” sung by Maneskin at the top of my lungs and I don’t understand, but only a little, because I understand that I, Cugini di Campagna, do a Maneskin cover and my brain explodes: not only in Sagra dell’Arancino there is I Cugini di Campagna and even Skin from Skunk Anansie, but even Cugini di Campagna, who have always been one of the most popular bands at village festivals, turn into a duo of midi keyboards and singers. covers, and they start to cover because I think the festival has its own traditions, and if someone somewhere, even Taylor Swift herself, doesn’t fucking do covers, then people feel terrible about it.