How to prolong a relationship: a rule that I learned

And he answered:

You were born together and you will always be together.

You will be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Yes, you will be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be space in your unity.

And let the winds of heaven dance among you.

Love one another, but do not make love a bond: rather let there be a surging sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup, but don’t drink from either cup.

Give each other your bread, but do not eat from the same bread.

Sing and dance together and rejoice, but let each of you be alone,

so are the strings of the lute, though they vibrate with the same music.

Give your hearts, but don’t keep each other.

For only the hand of Life can hold your heart.

And keep each other together, but don’t stand too close.

Since the pillars of the temple are located at a certain distance,

and oak and cypress do not grow in each other’s shade“.

Of course, when I read it as a teenager, it sounded like a very good poem, but I did not fully understand its meaning.

I’ve been engaged for 23 years. And no it’s not all roses and flowers. Love in the early years is not the same as after so many years. Love is changing. It develops into something else that is no longer the ardor of 5 Days of Romeo and Juliet. But that doesn’t make it any less intense.

Growing up with a person, sharing such an important piece of life is privilegewhich I think would not have been possible if a poem by Khalil Gibran had not come back to me: “Let there be space in your unity”.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in 23 years of relationships, it’s that For love to last long, everyone should have their own personal space. You don’t have to do everything together. It is not necessary to organize whole days in order to always be together. You don’t always have to force yourself to like what the other likes, just to be together. Of course, we need to meet, but never cancel for another person. Sing, dance and rejoice together, “but let each one of you be alone.”

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