Now that we’re all really letting the freak flag fly with these cynical conspiracy theories about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey’s relationship devoid of any evidence, let me add my own to the mix: their relationship is a joint sinister venture by none other than The Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals and Olivia Rodrigo will defeat their archrivals, the Chiefs and Taylor Swift (respectively).
Now listen to me. We all remember what happened in 2007 when Tony Romo’s then-girlfriend Jessica Simpson started going to his Dallas Cowboys football games – they started losing in dramatic and glorious fashion. This probably had more to do with poor coaching and Romo reverting to being an average quarterback than anything else, but avoid those rational facts for the sake of this treatise.
The saga of The Simpsons and Romo provides a powerful example: When a major pop star goes to her NFL star boyfriend’s football games, either bad luck or a distraction occurs and the team loses.
With that in your not-so-distant memory, what ideas might have been running through the helmets of the Buffalo Bills and Cincinnati Bengals when they heard about Travis Kelce’s failed attempt to give Taylor Swift a friendship bracelet and ask her out on a date after one of her eras in Kansas City? Touring shows?
Doesn’t it make sense that they would do everything in their power to give this couple a second chance in hopes of bringing another pop star girlfriend curse down on their annual tormentor, the Kansas City Chiefs?
In a similar vein, shortly before Kelsey and Swift’s relationship began, pop star Olivia Rodrigo didn’t explain the harsh lyrics from her new album and how they seemed to address her differences with burgeoning rival Taylor. Swift for songwriting? Wouldn’t another pop star torpedoing a favorite NFL team’s season help Rodrigo’s street cred and reputation while diminishing Swift’s?
The short answer is yes, yes it would. So I’m guessing the Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals, and Olivia Rodrigo may have conspired to get Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce together to further their selfish team goals.
The only problem? The plan failed miserably as Swift and Kelsey are simply adorable as can be, capturing the hearts of the nation, not detracting from either of their careers in any way – and in fact have so far done the exact opposite, becoming even more powerful forces. in their professions and the world at large.
But even if a sinister plot doesn’t work, a good journalist still has to report on it. And me too. Unless this sordid story has not the slightest proof, not an iota of credibility, there is so little logical probability that even printing such a story is considered a disservice.
Even so, it would still make good bait for a post about a Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce conspiracy theory. I hope.