‘They told me to work hard but I didn’t know anyone’, the pain of waking up not knowing who you are

One day she woke up not knowing where she was, who she was or where she was. Carolina Benassi could have died and been saved, but Herpes affected his brain and wiped out all his memories At one point this seemed to make it impossible for him to generate new ones.

Through recovery, family support and lots of wishes, the young woman was slowly able to start over, regain her cognitive abilities and move on, even though she barely remembers anything that happened before 2019. She is 27 years old, but she is also 4 years old.

He began studying psychology, then gravitated towards social communication and working relationships. However, a trip to Mexico caused him to interrupt his college projects and try his luck in Aztec territory.

At the age of 23, he decided to change his living habits. The idea was fueled by the desire to live near a paradise beach and try out modeling.He spent six months abroad and he was able to tell it all through the stories of his relatives because She completely forgot.

today Dream about entering the house big brother and dialogue with TV show He revealed his unprecedented experience, responded to those who didn’t believe him, and most importantly, was grateful for a new opportunity.

-What’s wrong with you? You don’t have any underlying medical conditions, and you haven’t had any accidents…

——After this happened, I started to investigate further because this was not normal; but no one gave me a concrete answer. I have herpetic encephalitis, which is herpes that appears in the brain.

—Are you in Mexico or here?

-I was here. I came back here for a month and a half on vacation. A few days before leaving I started feeling bad, had a headache and they said I had sinusitis. That’s when the herpes started to form and my head started to gradually swell.and Two days before the trip, I lost consciousness and was hospitalized.

——How long have you been unconscious?

– I don’t remember anything that happened while I was in the hospital. At first I didn’t recognize anyone. I think I must have been unconscious the first week., and then I began to understand what was happening to me. I was watching videos that I never really wanted to watch, but they asked me things I didn’t know yet. They asked me to try hard to connect with the photos, but I didn’t know anyone.

-Did you know you were Carolina?

-I think so. I’ve never asked this question. Calculus knows who I am, but not my age. I did not listen or understand those who spoke to me. I had to learn again who my mom was or who my brothers were. My mom told me that the person I always recognized was my dad. It seems to have left a stronger mark on me.

——Is it possible that you died the week you fell unconscious?

-Yes. The first day, if they hadn’t given me the medicine and all the medicine they injected to stop the inflammation, I probably would have died. My brain started to swell due to herpes and if this continued, I might die.

——Would the consequences be different?

——This has something to do with its location. In other words, if the herpes had appeared in other parts of the brain, I might not be able to move. It comes from a part of the hippocampus that affects everything related to memory of events.

-What happened during the speech? Is it necessary to relearn?

-No, I’ve always known how to talk. I really enjoy talking and know how to express myself well and how to conjure verbs. When someone speaks or says something wrong, like conjugating a verb incorrectly, I correct them. I didn’t forget to speak English either. All the songs I know are still there.But now it’s hard for me to keep these names.

-Who is your true love at that moment in your life, even though you don’t know them?

-My mother, my brother, my father and my whole circle of friends were there.

——Do you have a boyfriend?

——At that time, I was with a person who didn’t look like a couple, I remembered that person; but it stayed there. You can see a trace left there.

——At that moment, did you have any hope of recovering your memory?

—Tried all the rehab treatments at first. After hospitalization, They said the best thing would be for me to go to a psychiatric clinic because there was a chance I wouldn’t be able to progress. And since I wasn’t making progress, the best thing that could be done was to monitor me more closely. My mother refused at that time because she saw that she was making little progress.

——Can’t you create new memories at that moment?

-clear, He couldn’t remember what happened the day before. I don’t remember either, until 2020. This incident happened in July 2019, and I didn’t have specific memories of it until March 2020.. This pandemic has helped me because I am calmer just from being cooped up and not going through things every day. I was able to create new memories, but I remember nothing from the time I was discharged until early 2020.

——Don’t you remember her daily life either? Do you have to start over every morning?

– No, I remember my family and friends. The first two months were difficult for me.

-What does it feel like to love your mother again?

– I don’t know, I think the relationship is better. Or stronger. I think it taught me to appreciate other things. I don’t know if I’m complicit with her today. People tell me that my mom went above and beyond for me. He was with me all day. It has stayed with me and still does to this day. It made me fall in love with her all over again.

——Have you ever been depressed?

——Yes, a lot of the time.Today I tried to think of it as a good thing, like it helped me change and see things differently, but Not remembering a lot of people makes me feel bad. I was hurt when they told me “why should I tell you this if you don’t remember anything”. Maybe no one understands what I’m going through.return Many people have suffered a lot because they stayed with me, but I am the saddest one. I am the one who lost my old life.

– What do you find when you try to go backwards?

– Nothing. Absolutely white. Several people have written to me these days to tell me that we met from that place. But since I couldn’t remember, I ended up believing it because we had mutual friends. If I try to search, nothing comes up. I always knew those memories would never come back. I had to learn to keep things again. For example, through cognitive therapy, they explained to me retention techniques. At some point I tried to rehabilitate the past, but I gave up because a few years passed.

——After your case became public, many people wrote to you. How did you react to those who didn’t believe you?

-on the one hand, I put myself in other people’s shoes and it seems unreal to me; but they say I invented it all to get into Big Brother. I laughed about it. I hope it gets in. But on the other hand, it also makes me angry because I know this disease. This is herpetic encephalitis. When I saw a lot of people posting that this is a lie, I started going crazy with replies that it wasn’t a lie.. I later regretted it and deleted everything, even though I told a few people to google it. I hope this is a lie but I have the support of all the doctors and everyone who knows me.

-Are you ready to enter a place like this? big brother? Aren’t you afraid of so much exposure?

——Yes, I feel ready. I’m not scared at all because I think I have a strong character to face it. I know it must be hard to be in the middle of it and have everyone thinking about you, but I think The worst thing I’ve ever experienced. There is nothing worse than this. I feel like I have the ability to face it.

—Have you spoken to doctors to get their perspective on home quarantine?

—I discussed this with my neurologist at the time, and she asked me to try it. “If this is what you want to do, go for it,” he told me. And incarceration didn’t make me any worse. During the epidemic, my mother sent messages to all her friends not to talk to me because I couldn’t go out. I was detained for about three months, and I endured it.

—Today you are 27 years old, but you are also 4 years old. Celebrating 28 or 5?

——Yes, reborn (laughs). I’m celebrating my 28th birthday, even though I can’t remember it for five years. Although I don’t remember everything that happened before, it was there. I trust the people who tell me this. I constructed my past based on what they told me.

-Do they also tell you ugly things?

-Yes of course. I wasn’t in as much pain as I remembered, but it made me feel sick. Things that I think are wrong now, seemed right to me before; so I’m glad I’m not the same person anymore. This is a second chance.

—Tell me about the decisions you made during sad moments in your life, were they related to the questions you asked or were decisions made by your family?

—Many people decided not to tell me things that made me sad, but when I asked, I wanted them to tell me the truth. Sometimes people will flag something that makes them angry so it doesn’t happen again. Today I am the one making the request or choice. Many people told me they had videos of me in the hospital and I didn’t want to see them. I don’t want to live like that again, even though I don’t remember it. But these days I ask to be taken to see them. I feel more comfortable watching them alone because it’s hard to assimilate.

—Was being hospitalized the most difficult moment of your life?

—Yes, this is the worst.When my father passed away in early 2021. I get goosebumps because I am recovering and experiencing that pain. He and I have always had a very special relationship. We had a lot of conflicts. He was 78 years old when he died. He’s a very big and very screwed up guy. She is not like my mother, kind, gentle and calm. My father is a very complicated man. It’s not bad, but it’s old-fashioned. He was closer to my brother and he farted on me a lot. It makes me shorter.

—Are your mom and dad together or apart?

– They are separated but living together.

——Is your father violent towards you?

—He yelled at me. I raised my voice. Physically, no. Although it sucks, it also has its advantages…

——In fact, this is the first thing you remember…

-There was something about him that impressed me. This is someone I recognize. I told my mother that she was not my mother; I loved her very much, but she was not my mother. On the other hand, I did recognize my father.

—Have you ever been back to Mexico?

——No, all my memories are from photos.

——Did they show you a lot of photos during this time?

—I have all the photos of Mexico. All the memories are on Instagram.

——Will herpes recur?

-They told me about his chances of coming back They have the same probability as anyone. It’s like it didn’t happen. It’s not like cancer, which is more likely to come back once it appears. They did an MRI and the scar is still on my brain, but that doesn’t mean it will happen again.

-Are you dating?

– Yes, I’m on a date and it’s the best date ever. We formed a bond that I loved. He accepts me and everything that happens to me. It helps me, keeps me company, encourages me… and after everything that has happened to me I find it very important.

-Build memories.

–Build memories.