“Sometimes I look back and think, ‘Wow, you were a warrior through what you went through,'” legendary Ravens tackle Michael Oher told us. After hearing his painful yet inspiring life story, we have to agree.
The 37-year-old football star grew up in Memphis, a neighborhood plagued by poverty, gangs and drugs. It was his family’s addiction to cocaine that led to him living on the streets with his brothers as a child.
“I was homeless when I was 3 years old and was in and out of foster care from the age of 3 to 10,” Oher revealed. “I’m alone in the street. When you’re walking around hungry, you’re constantly angry and upset about the world because there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re thinking: How can I heal my pain?”
But he didn’t let this challenging upbringing stop him from developing a positive outlook on what awaited him. He vividly remembers watching Michael Jordan games on television as a child, a god-like figure who later became the inspiration for his creative life.
“I saw the future,” he explains. “I saw what I would get in the end if I gave 100 percent. That’s what helped push me — and was the key. “I understand the kids who put in the effort to be Michael Jordan and the kids who aren’t willing to put in the effort. To make the difference between successful kids. “
But before he can begin to meaningfully engage in his work, he needs to separate himself from those who are holding him back: his own family. “I was tired of living without a routine, tired of going door to door, couch surfing and having to run from the authorities,” he said. “I understand that you have to separate yourself from those who aren’t willing to sacrifice and go out and do what you need to do… You can’t let those things hold you back. Getting rid of the attachment to family was the most important thing I did. If If I didn’t, I’d still be in the same situation.”
efficient. Oher later became a unanimous All-American, a Super Bowl champion, and had a movie based on his life released (blind spot), and started the family he always wanted (he and his long-term partner have four children).
“I understood it was my responsibility to go out and chase that dream,” he explained. “Even though I lived in a cabin with no locks on the door and no locks on the windows, I didn’t think so. Everyone was in a difficult situation. I just got up, made the bed, cleaned the room, and there was nothing. “It’s healing everything around me. “
Although Oher tried, he could never truly heal from the trauma of his past, a reality he hopes young people going through similar situations will realize. But he does offer some tried-and-true advice on how to avoid the pain that comes with it.
“Put your head down, get out there, meet people and do the right thing,” he advises. “If you stay consistent and find the discipline, you can go out and be successful. “Action is everything. “
We spoke to Michael Oher Sensory box story Untiea Big Think interview series created in partnership with unlikely collaborator. As a creative nonprofit, their mission is to help people challenge their perceptions and expand their thinking. Often, this growth can start with an unlikely question that causes you to rethink your beliefs and adjust your vantage point.Watch the full interview with Michael Oher above, and visit Sensory box Check out more content in this series.
Words: Jamie Carson
Michael Oher: My first memory is when I was three years old, I remember me and my brothers, we were walking down the street looking for shelter, looking for somewhere to go. I still remember my brother putting me on the floor to change my diaper. Finally we came to a shed behind a house. We stayed there for a few nights. This is my first memory. I still remember it very clearly.
I grew up in the village of Hutt. Looking back now, many people are hurt every day. This is absolutely ironic. You know, crack cocaine, the drug epidemic. It ruined generations. my family. I had no close relationships with anyone in my family because of the drugs and crack cocaine.
I had been homeless since I was three years old and was in and out of foster care from the age of three to ten. I was living alone on the streets. When you’re walking around hungry, you’re angry all the time and basically you’re just upset at the world because there’s nothing you can do about it. You sit there and think, how can I heal my pain?
What I would do, I would go to the grocery store or the gas station, I would steal something. This is how I have to eat.
I am alone a lot and I watch a lot of movies to pass my time. I like movies. I like TV. I remember at seven o’clock, everyone was gathered around the TV and everyone was cheering, Michael Jordan. And then I think back and I think, wow, this is incredible. He is like a god. He is being worshiped. Everybody was cheering, everybody was gathering in front of the TV just to see this guy right here.
So, that was the first idea that inspired me. Basically I saw the future. I find that if I put my mind to it and give it 100 percent to where I want to go, I can go out and do something special. Since then, seven years have passed. It was very helpful to me and very critical.
I understand the difference between kids who are willing to put in the effort to be Michael Jordan and kids who aren’t willing to put in the effort to be successful. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t blame anyone but myself because I know everyone around me is on drugs and they can’t help me.
Everyone is in a difficult situation. I understand it’s going to be up to me to go out there and chase whatever dreams I want to chase. Sometimes I think back, man, you were, you really were, you were a warrior. To go through this, you go through it, because even though I lived in a cabin with no lock on the door and no windows, I didn’t see it that way.
I get up and make my bed. I cleaned the room and there was nothing. But it’s healing everything around me. I don’t understand how I did it. Sometimes I look back and I’m like, Oh my God, you’re an amazing kid.
One thing the movie “The Underbelly” didn’t tell me was my hard work and what I had done up to that point. It was thrown away a little bit.
This is the message I want young people to know. You lowered your head. When you go out, you meet people on the way. You do the right thing. You stay consistent, you find the discipline, and you can go out and be successful. Action is everything to me. Every day, my mindset is to do the right thing.
That’s waking up, going to school on my own, not showing disrespect, not joining gangs, not doing things around me because I don’t want this cycle to continue.
I remember the day I couldn’t do this anymore. I was just tired of living without a routine, tired of going door to door, couch surfing, and having to run from the authorities. So I learned that you have to separate yourself from those who are not willing to sacrifice, go out and do the things you are willing to do, and you can’t let those things hold you back.
That was the most important thing I ever did, was adjusting to this separation and letting go of my attachment to my family. Because if it hadn’t, I think I’d still be in the same situation.
One of the things that heals me the most today is that I don’t think you’re fully healed yet. I think family is the most important thing because that’s what I’ve always been after.