The long-awaited (by whom?) episode of Prime Video’s Sanremo Ferranier is finally available and, as expected, it reveals nothing more than what we’ve already known for months about the fights between these two behind the scenes at Ariston. An hour and ten minutes of pure beatification of the lime blonde who has become a woman for us all, while her husband Federico Lucia is just an annoying piece of furniture, treated worse than the smallest dishwasher, and even disowned by his mother. The last straw was that he himself had to apologize…
Youon through the cross. The latest episode of the Ferranier series arrives on Prime Video a few months after the rest of the regime feuilleton and promises to tell “only one truth” about the clashes of our royal couple behind the scenes of the Ariston Theater in Sanremo. And, in fact, from this point of view, he keeps his promises. At the center of the hour, ten and minute chart is she and only her: Chiara Ferragni. And therefore, too, there is only one “truth”: his. Fedez, even in terms of playing time, was practically cut out of the match, as a dangerous ultras under the leadership of DASPO. And it’s almost touching to see him so abandoned, even disowned by his manager mother Annamaria. Because if at some point you are filmed in the Ferranier series, should start the series “Hosanna Eh” towards the messianic salad blonde, saint, saint, saint, who became flesh for us and Schiaparelli, who appeared on the stage of the most important Italian television event to inspire us with crazy outfits and letters to herself. like a child. Behind the scenes of the performance, which was all but ridiculed by the national press at the time, but the document shows only the furious headlines – no title – there was a Gethsemane of tears and anxiety, something not even Jesus did before the cross. While the choirs of apostles, without traitors, were there only to shudder in the face of such obvious greatness. After all, Ferranier has for some time now been no longer a documentary about Italy’s most famous couple, but a series about the regime. Even for this reason it is worth making fun of him.
lyou will read that Chiara Ferragni is a symbol of female empowerment. You will read that Chiara Ferragni is a woman who matters, a woman who is one, two. You will read that Chiara Ferragni is a feminist miracle: a millionaire, compassionate, excellent in everything she does and says. You’ll read that Fedez is just a poor attention-seeking buffoon who tried to “steal the limelight” on the Ariston stage while being a white male (always a cruel race!). You will read: nonsense. Throughout this Sanremo special, the demure Iron Lady treats her husband like a piece of cake, or rather, a mere decoration for her personal splendor. And he should be there. It’s actually convenient too. He is silent.
It is enough to note that the debut of his wife Federico Lucia at the festival was seen from the kitchen of Sanremo (along with Luis Sal, who was very focused on Candy Crush). However, behind the scenes of the theater was Chiara’s team, led by the omnipresent factotum Fabio Maria Damato, who now boasts more close-ups than years of life. A good handful of friends and collaborators with whom Ferragni celebrates and enjoys every commercial break. Even on the last toast after the evening. And Fedez? Always in the kitchen with Luis. The next day you will hear a very romantic man say on the phone: “Maybe we’ll meet later.” Fine.
FEdez, despite being under house arrest for no reason, appears to be a big fan of his wife. She even holds a sequined T-shirt over her face while watching the festival’s opening night. He then showers her with compliments – always over the phone – and our female empowerment heroine hangs up because she has no time to waste. When he performs a set of rhymes not coordinated with Rai, in which he attacks a couple of politicians, Ferragni comments on the performance by saying, “Come on, honey.” If he had even thought of limiting himself to such a dry exit, he would have become enemy number one in the country. “Chiara, you really were good“. And so on to the ugly, bad, stinking patriarchy.
Finally, Patatrak. Hand on heart, the employees of the blond salad decide to give Fedez a pass to Ariston as well. He’ll be in the front row watching his wife shine. That’s exactly what happened, except for the proverbial lemon that Rosa Chemical put in his mouth, which caused great controversy, because, as we know, when faced with nothing, the right always finds a way to feast. Already imagining the next day’s headlines, Her Majesty Ferragni blurts out backstage, irritated: perhaps the next day not everyone will write only about her. What an irreparable shame. This is irreparable today, given that Federico Lucia also had to publish an Instagram story with a deep apology to his wife. His deplorable(?) behavior in Sanremo is due to mental health issues. So Fedez doesn’t think about it? Yes, he’s willing to say it publicly several times, but in the end he lasted five seconds on the Ariston stage, pulled into the middle by a rival singer. – maybe there was a preliminary agreement between them, and maybe not, but these five seconds were already five seconds too much for Chiara to tolerate. Is it true that there is a wonderful atmosphere there? In short, is it true that you can breathe?
GWhen looking at this issue of Sanremo, as well as at the entire Ferranier series, one fact emerges: in order to reproduce, Chiara has to put her husband in second, or rather, in the very last place. If he barely takes a step forward, then he’s a brute who acts like a villain because, poor thing, he has so many mental disorders, you know. And so she is again a saint who keeps everything as it is. The same plot, among other things, that led to the divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: the rapper increasingly made unpleasant statements – including running for the presidency of the United States, only to later claim that he suffered from bipolar disorder. Mr. K’s madness eventually became unbearable for his wife, who, despite much love and gratitude, found herself forced to abandon him in order to contact the first stand-up comedian who came into her sight. Sorry for the spoiler.
Din this episode, if we really had to decide who should apologize to our significant other, we definitely wouldn’t choose Fedez. So subservient and shut up that it almost makes us tender. He found himself in a game larger than himself, with very strict rules, something like “One, two, three… Stay there!” in which, if, after all, you are not “Stay There”, if you squirm even a millimeter, the consequence is that you will be perceived as a cheerful and disrespectful idiot to the combined social networks. No one actually reads the privacy policy when purchasing a product. Poor Federico Lucia probably should have looked at at least two lines of the marriage contract when he was “bought” by the Ferragni brand.
Finally, the blond salad bowler’s incessant crying becomes unbearable. With all due respect to what everyone might consider “stress” in their lives, it is truly exhausting to endure the mere sight of Queen Chiara whining every five minutes because she suffers from stage fright. Making your debut directly at Ariston is no walk in the park, especially without the slightest bit of television preparation. But enough: Ferragni is eager to get in front of the cameras and, therefore, in front of people who have a live game in their lives, a project contract, locked in an office from 9 am to 6 pm every day, doing something that worries them little or nothing at all . oh, but I have to. Although he can earn a living, he cannot find a job. That is, his audience is before all of us. Who, perhaps a great enigma, is also able to empathize with this heroine due to the lack of erosion, whose biggest daily concern is to have an assistant arrange for her a private plane to Paris at a convenient time. Who does Pilates in the morning on a tatami made of human skin, covered with pure gold.
Chiara, really, you have no reason to cry. In fact, if you look closely, in a certain sense you don’t even have the right to do so. Not to us poor bastards who, alone and with no family fortune, made precarious jobs for themselves out of luxury. And now we have great difficulty empathizing with the obstacles of life that happened to you. Most of all, we feel like we are really being bullied because of this constant nagging. If San Remo, if the sight so upsets your noble nerves, Chiara, then there is still a mine. Maybe we’ll think about it for next season. Hi guys!