you don’t need the dress of revenge but a conscious look

How to dress after a breakup? The power of fashion and the right dress (but to be worn for oneself, not for revenge!) should not be underestimated.

There are those who bask in depression, increasing suffering between tearjerker films and sad music, drowning their sorrow in ice cream. And there are those who take the opportunity to indulge in mad joy, perhaps with the nail-driven nail technique between a spritz and a glass of wine with friends. Everyone overcomes in their own way the end of a relationship and a breakup is never easy. Yet it is not to be underestimated the power of fashion: the right dress can make a difference on mood. And it’s not about “revenge dress” a la Lady Diana, but rather with self-esteem.

How to dress when a relationship ends

Not all relationships end peacefully and serenely. For every Gwyneth Paltrow-Chris Martin couple who split up and remain friends, there’s a couple more like the Shakira-Piqué couple who carry on with spite and teasing to music. And teasing often involves style choices as well. It teaches us Lady Diana with his famous revenge dress, the “dress of vengeance” literally gone down in history. It is the sheath dress that the princess wore after breaking up with Carlo, a way of saying to him: hey, look what you missed! We’ve all done it a bit. But is it a winning technique?

Based on her personal experience and the three weeks of living in pajamas after the end of a love story, personal stylist and image consultant Stefania Bartolomei explained to Eliza how some small gestures helped her feel better. “What you wear during a breakup can make or break your mood” she said. According to the expert it is not something to do for the other, but rather For themselves.

Elena d’Amario with the transparent dress: the new summer look is with extra long pigtails

In fact, he explained that there are precautions that can play a role in finding the security you need to move forward after a breakup. “During difficult and emotional times, wearing clothes that make us feel good is extremely important. It helps us feel happier and full of energy, despite being in a difficult situation. Would you rather look in the mirror and feel pitiful or look at your reflection and feel like you’re in control?” he asked.

The power of colors

The ground rule for breakup outfits is wear colors: “In particular the brighter shades and shades of yellow, orange, pink and some shades of green and blue. They trigger positive neurological responses in the brain, creating feelings of happiness, pleasure and gratification” said Stefania Bartolomei. “That’s why, historically, after downturns we see bold colors take over the runways. Even now, after a pandemic and during a recession, if you look around, color dominates in fashion” he added.

So, especially in the first period, welcome too pajamas and overalls. “Breakup is like mourning. After all, we are saying goodbye to a relationship, a routine, something and someone familiar. We need time for acceptance. So I think it is permissible, and even necessary, to have a transitional period where we put on our most comfortable clothes and stay indoors, to metabolise and accept our new situation.“: but at least, let’s do it with color! The same goes for party outfits and work looks: you don’t need to overturn your look, but livening it up can help. “Don’t be afraid to add some color” concluded the expert.

Reborn for yourself, not for revenge

For Stefania Bartolomei renew your wardrobe and do shopping it was therapeutic, a cuddle she allowed herself to smile and feel good. But she did it for herself: it was this principle that guided her rebirth, not the desire for revenge. Dressing in a certain way, maybe that doesn’t even belong to us, just to show the other what they’re missing, shifts the focus away from the really important thing: find yourself and feel good about yourselfwell in your own shoes. “It’s actually more important to feel as awesome as possible” said the expert.

You need to go into your new life feeling more confident, not trying to put a huge effort or wearing what other people tell you to wear. For some people this means wearing heels, sequins and skintight dresses, for others trainers or combat boots and leggings. It’s not what we wear, really, but how we wear our clothes that makes the difference. At the same time have a awareness of what works for us is fundamental: from colors to fabrics, shapes and styles. Wearing something that we know works for us is undoubtedly a win-win combination” he concluded.

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