Movies that show how women cope with the situation on the big screen end of a love story They are many. In eat Pray Love The heroine (Julia Roberts), after separating from her husband, finally finds love for herself and finally understands what it really means to feel good and be in perfect balance with your soul, by Brooke and Gary (Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn) i hate you i leave you ti… After initial anguish, they face the breakup with revenge and revenge, while Alice (Dakota Johnson in the film). single but not too much), in a pause for reflection on her partner, she decides to try out “new” experiences in order to gauge whether he is truly ready to commit himself. In short, post separation reactions They may differ. There are those who grieve, those who show displeasure, those who even feel relieved. But everyone, sooner or later, they want to love again, Now, a question arises: is there any TeaThe “right” time to start a new relationship after a breakup, Is the rule “take the nail out of the nail” better, or “we give time to time”?
“When a love story ends, there are people who immediately jump into it (or look for it). new form of employment whether it be sexual, sensual, emotional, relational, cognitive; Those who actively take the time to understand what happened and those who passively stop and then calmly restart. Individual reactions to ending a relationship depend on coping strategiesThat is, how to solve the problem. have focused strategies on employment, or when you throw yourself into something else so you don’t have to think. Be it work, sports or any other person, a little change matters. It is a method that involves distracting oneself, occupying the mind, etc. focus on something that can provide us with a positive and soothing response, strategies based on feelings The goal of which is to reduce emotional distress or distress. We go out with friends, we convince ourselves that we have significant responsibilities in what happened, we tell ourselves ‘after all it’s better this way.’ aims at ease our pain, Finally focused on strategies crisisthat activate when you take the time you need To find out the underlying reasons for the end of the relationship, The goal is to ‘grow’, to understand what didn’t work and to learn new skills that will be useful in the future”, explains psychologist and sexologist Sarah Guerra.
Importance of working on the causes of separation
“When a relationship ends, it is important to take stock to understand what were the reasons that made you want to start a new story or not. We need to rethink who we are, what we want and where we are going. The help of a psychologist can be decisive, it can facilitate emotional and cognitive processing of what happened and help to understand what proactive strategies can be used in the future. If you don’t figure out what went wrong, it will be more difficult to mentally bring closure to the relationship and therefore be able to open up to new, potential, possibilities. because here, If you want to ‘harness’ the time you spend with someone who is no longer with you for personal growthIt becomes necessary to elaborate the reasons for the separation”, the sexologist comments.
therapeutic reflection as a means of extension
The time for expansion and contemplation is sacred. “Feelings need time to flow, develop and move away from us. Along with them, thoughts should also have time to put in order and assimilate. If you immediately immerse yourself in a new relationship, the risk is that the previous relationship has not been elaborated enough. And so we didn’t understand what happened and why we arrived at a complete story”, Dr. Guerra continues.
repair process
“In some of us, the end of a relationship can trigger self-defense mechanisms.
we have suffered injustice and Anger joins in Fear of new emotional pain and so we ‘close’ ourselves (be careful that ‘closure’ here means emotional or romantic closure, not necessarily sensual or sexual). This A sense of self-preservation for a certain period of time will prevent us from opening our hearts to feelings again., we see that repair process It begins when others tell us that ‘something has changed’ inside us, we talk more about the future than the past, and we are more active, willing to open up to new things. but also when the idea of making new acquaintances makes us less intimidated And we are gradually paying more attention to looking attractive by showing ourselves well groomed, available and confident to others and most of all to ourselves. Being ready for a new relationship means you want to express yourself and experiment again., not because everyone else is engaged, or out of jealousy, retaliation, or fear of being alone. When we are ready, we have completed a part of our self-awareness journey and therefore we feel “different”, with more skills, knowledge and resources”, explains the psychologist.
What to (not) look for in a new relationship
“Sometimes the past can’t leave us and we bring shadows and ghosts into new relationships. Often it is our insecurities that hurt us and indicate that we are not yet fully ready for a new relationship, if we have not first developed self-awareness and confidence. have unrealistic expectations (Instead we should have hope!); need everything at once, we need to give ourselves time without rushing forward or demanding everything immediately; comparisons with former comrades (a great classic, which, however, is worth a visit) errors More general ones that remind us that we still have to work on ourselves. Claim proof of loveOn the other hand, it is the most obvious ‘sign’ that we are not sure of ourselves. Learning to balance alone is the only way to be able to feel good with others”, concluded Dr. Guerra.
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